Author Topic: Rigid people  (Read 6706 times)

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barelythere

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Re: Rigid people
« Reply #45 on: August 27, 2010, 01:57:47 PM »
Perhaps if the ILs knew they were scheduled into the social calendar too, the way a lot of DIL's FOOs are, there would be less anxiety all around. It's hard to share, but we expect kindergartners to do it and I think as adults we can figure this out :)

As both a DIL & a MIL, I know from experience that both sides need to feel validated and loved. After that it takes consideration and compromise. But, if one or both parties is selfish, uncaring or unyielding, it won't work and the other party is bound to be hurt, confused, or  upset. For some of us our hurt becomes overwhelming and we're tired of always being the ones who give in.

Rigid people don't know how to "pick their battles." Sometimes it's best to give in on the little stuff so you can give more credence to the big issues. Sometimes it's great to be seen as the "yes" guy!

I'm assuming we DILs and MILs here are caring and desiring compromise, otherwise we're just here to vent or tangle which isn't productive.

This DIL of ours cannot get off the list she makes for the week, month, year. No varying. She's in another city so other people don't know that about her yet but I have never seen anyone so rigid. OMG, this is deadly serious. Nothing out of the ordinary, ever.  Whatever, it's worn me out.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Rigid people
« Reply #46 on: August 27, 2010, 04:21:56 PM »
It's so hard to understand what works for others when it doesn't work for us.

Schedules are great if we are adaptable but as an Art Form? I don't think so! And when the pendulum swings the other way, we are at the effect of people who "hang loose" to the degree that they are totally irresponsible and we can't count on anything.

I wonder sometimes why somewhere in the middle isn't more popular? It seems so simple...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama