March 29, 2024, 01:44:38 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Day By Day

Started by irenic, August 19, 2010, 04:31:42 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

irenic

I have to keep reminding myself I am important, and yes I have made mistakes, many....I am so sorry for the things I have done unwisely in my life, it has torn me apart, losing my
daughter has cut very deeply.  I believe I am responsible for what I did, but for the last 18 years I have done every thing in my power to rectify the things my daughter perceives as wrong.
My rage and anger, Ihave studied myself, know why I was so full of anger and rage, and have tried very hard to show my feelings and emotions
before I get to that stage.  I have had so much pain, so much loss, from the first two weeks of my life.  I am trying to soothe myself,
learn from my ways, learn from my bad judgements, but still can not understand why my daughter will not have me in her
life.  She has been so cruel, so hateful, and from her verbal to her choking me and locking my husband out of her house
in the 110 degree heat, no way to get away, she kept the rental car keys, all because I would not discuss something at the
time she wanted me to.  I am sure we all have all these stories of dire hurt, but today, I am ok, I have asked for forgiveness,
have attempted to get myself on track. I still can not believe my daughter has forsaken me and no longer cares about me.  Just some thoughts today.

luise.volta

You deserve the best, and when you come here...you give it to yourself. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Nana

Irenic:

We have some bad days....this is one of them for you.  Remember....no regrets....what we have done we have done.  We didnt know better.  The good part is that recognizing our own mistakes makes us better persons and by all means have the right to be forgiven and we also forgive those who have failed us. 

A friend of mine once told me that feeling guilty all the time is because we have not learned to forgive ourselves.  When I do something wrong, I do ask for forgiveness to he/she I hurt.  But also I also forgive myself.  I once slapped my son in the face when he was a pre-teen.  He was rude to my sil who was trying to please him, I asked him to stop....and kept nagging her.  I couldnt resist myself and bang.  I was so sorry and wept that night.    When he was about 20 years old my son brought it up.  He told me he remembered that I slapped him.  I answer "Son, I love you with all my heart and did then too, I acted crazy and I was very sorry, but I forgaved myself, can you also forgive this crazy mother of yours?" He hug me and both started laughing.  He answered "I do".


I try to think that your daughter, and sons of other posters are not really bad persons.  Something is bothering them and probably they dont even know it.  They do not have piecein their lives and we cannot give what we do not possess.  The problem is theirs.   

They will understand this later in life.

Wish you a better day tomorrow....cheer up.  I love you.


hugs
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Pen

Irenic, it's good to hear from you again. You've said some amazing things about forgiveness and change. Thank you for sharing your story and your progress. It helps others, too. {{{hugs}}}
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb