Useful Book

[kathleen]

Toxins - A toxin (Greek: , toxikon) is a poisonous substance produced by living cells or organisms (although humans are technically living organisms, man-made substances created by artificial processes usually aren't considered toxins by this definition).
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxins

Here is the definition of "toxin."  What poisonous substances, exactly, are produced by living cells or organisms in mother-in-laws?

The title of this book isn't even correct usage of the word.  Many unscientific pop books are written like this today.  It would be interesting to learn if there is some measurement of the damage they do. 

Kathleen

[kathleen]

John Bradshaw has endorsed Susan Forward's work.  That's all I need to know.

Here is a quote from the article:

From Abracadabra to Zombies:  New Age Psychotherapy --- www. skepdic.com/therapy/html.

"The list of "crazy" therapies is too long to reproduce here, but Singer and Lalich describe the following:

"Leonard Orr developed energy breathing and rebirthing theory. According to Orr, if you learn how to breathe energy well, you can breathe away diseases and physical or emotional pain.

"Marguerite Sechehaye and John Rosen practice the theory of regression and reparenting.  The therapist becomes the patient's  surrogate parent to make up for the terrible job her real parents did.

"Jacqui Shiff's theory is that the patient must wear diapers, suck his thumb and drink from a baby bottle to be cured.

"Sondra Ray and Bob Mandel believe that your problems are due to the way you were born. They will help "rebirth" you, properly this time.

"John Fuller, Bruce Goldberg, Brian Weiss, Edith Fiore, Richard Boylan, David Jacobs, Budd Hopkins and  John Mack use hypnosis to discover the patient's past or future lives as an alien abductee, in an effort to "help" them.

"John Bradshaw's theory is that you have an "inner child" you must nurture and be good to, if you are to be healthy."

I wonder if Leonard Orr ever went through natural childbirth?  I did, and I can tell you that you cannot breathe the pain away.  You have to walk through it.

Kathleen

[cremebrulee]

How many of us here have said bad things about other people or called them names, like,
Oh, she's a spoilded brat
or she's a princess, or extremely high maintenance....
or what a jerk, or on and on....

I can understand how some of you ladies feel, and your reasons why, however, I bet in your own hurt and anger, you, we've all done our share of name calling,
Yes, you can find any word in the dictionary as toxic and describe it's total shameful meaning...however, it is a word only, and doesn't define who you are.....

and by the way, talking about the N word, I told my son one time, when he asked me about that word, if I ever hear you say that word, well, you know I don't believe in slapping anyone across the face, but your butt is big enough and that is why it's there, so get ready for a spanking.

It always ceases to amaze me, how people of that particular nationality will call each other that, however, if someone else does, it's the most God awful thing??   

[LaurieS]

Laurie
regarding the woman who fell into the fountain....
The woman was texting...wasn't watching where she was going...I've had many people do that, and almost walk right into me....so, yeah, I think it's funny...it was her misgiving....she created the issue, she is responsible, the mall didn't Sell it to anyone, it was placed on U-Tube, so maybe someone else caught it on they're cell...the woman claims embarrassment and is so upset b/c everyone is laughing....tough, and maybe she learned her lesson, b/c maybe she also drives and does texting?  Who knows, maybe she doesn't, however, she is responsible for her own actions, and she goofed...Remember the show, "People do the darnest things"  They'd have a field day with this one...or how bout American's funniest video's....frankly the woman should be laughing at herself, thanking fate for a lesson learned....b/c of her someone could get really hurt....

I just saw this woman on tv, it is believed that the security office allowed someone to use a telephone to copy their original film and then it was posted.  I'm with the woman and I'd have the shrewdest attorney I could find.

This shows how callous we've become, I'm not saying that I'm any less guilty, as I high fived my daughter for tripping a social snot who treated her as if she didn't exist.  I think/know we are all guilty to a certain degree.

At some point you'd think that common sense would come into play.  Or is it now every man for himself?  What about the first responders who used a cell phone to photograph a decapitated young girl, who it was later proven had caused her own one car accident. This photo was shared with the rest of the world with nothing more then a click of a send button.. of course those photos eventually made it to her parent's computer. Who gets to declare when something is funny and worthy of mass mailings, or a word is only offensive at certain times. 

[LaurieS]

Sorry Kathleen, I did not see you posting.

While you are here.. I really would like to know your opinion on the use of the word 'hater' as I and others gave examples of earlier.

[LaurieS]

Wow Kathleen.. and those are the professions giving this advice?  Maybe I got off lucky with my water drinking, name changing therapist.

[kathleen]

Laurie,

I am confused about the meaning of "hater" as you guys are using it here.  It sounds like another very general term to describe a certain kind of person or behavior.  When I get finished I'll look it up.  Send more comments to explain your question, please?

It is so very important in life to be very clear in all that we communicate.  I just finished a long article for a literary publication.  I have a great editor and she puts me through the jumps.  Every sentence has to be attributed to a credible source, with exact page numbers (this gets hard when you are using New Yorker articles from the 1940's.)  As a reporter, I was also taught that, as to write an inaccuracy could put the paper at risk for a lawsuit.  But this is great training for life and critical thinking about every important issue.  When you really look at the title, "Toxic Mother-in-laws," it makes no scientific or grammatical sense.  But it's very catchy and quick.

Creme, I respectfully comment you may be confusing the issues.  It's one thing to call my husband a jerk when he leaves his underwear on the floor.  It's another thing to write a book that labels a whole group of husbands, unknown personally to the author, jerks.  She is not excused as far as I'm concerned because at one time or another I've called my husband a jerk (and he's called me a jerk for placing so much importance on what's on the floor.)  My communication with my husband also is private; I'm not broadcasting his faults to the world by publishing a book, essentially asking other people to join me in a crusade. Keep in mind these books are written for money and self-aggrandizement.  I have no doubt that these con artists have talked themselves into believing their own theories.  That was what I heard about Bernie Madoff: the con artist first cons himself.  I thought this was very insightful.

The subject of my article is Sinclair Lewis, my favorite author.  This man was the first American to win the Nobel Prize for literature.  He had great, enormous, vast social conscience.  He wasn't content merely to write novels; he wanted to improve the world, flag our rights as citizens and urge us to keep them, and unmask fakery.  He would have had an absolute ball with the New Age books and therapists.  The closest approximation is "Elmer Gantry," who cynically made a business out of tent religion for profit. (The first sentence of the novel is, "Elmer Gantry was drunk.")  I wish he were alive today so I could ask him about all the "Toxic" books.  I can hear him howling with laughter in his grave.  He also examined racism in "Kingsblood Royal."  Not his best literary novel, but one of his very best in terms of the premise.

Actually, now that I'm coming down from my first reaction, this is a very interesting topic.  It's a good opportunity for us to examine what we feel and experience in regard to fast-acting gurus.  It's a good opportunity to clarify what we really think and are willing to accept.

Laurie, I applaud you so much for walking out on that therapist.  You realized the emperor had no clothes.  So many people don't.  You really are a free and kindred spirit.

Kathleen

[kathleen]

Definition of "hater:"

a person who hates
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/web

It is also listed as a "slang term."  I am not familiar with its usage and still don't really understand it.

Kathleen

[LaurieS]

I couldn't find any more then it being used as slang.. I just noticed that even the media has latched onto it.. Primarily I hear the 20ish crowd using it the most.

[Pooh]

I get you Kathleen.  I guess I have never been a very literal person when it comes to meanings.  I think different people can have different interpretations of a passage, or a poem or a literary work.  They are all just words but depending on how they are used or interpreted, can mean so many different things to different people.  I think they can definately be used to hurt when used callously or maliciously.

[kathleen]

Pooh,

Oh yeah.

K.

[cremebrulee]

I get you Kathleen.  I guess I have never been a very literal person when it comes to meanings.  I think different people can have different interpretations of a passage, or a poem or a literary work.  They are all just words but depending on how they are used or interpreted, can mean so many different things to different people.  I think they can definately be used to hurt when used callously or maliciously.

I'm with ya pooh, I just feel life is to short to allow things like this to bother me....I could care less....there are more important thing in my life to think about...and I joke around an awful lot...and things seem to roll off my back...to be that literal drives me nuts....you can ignore it just as easy as get upset about it, ...I'm not so thin skinned I guess....and it works for me...but I agree, you know when something is being used maliciously and we have a choice, we can let it upset us, or walk away...life is just way to short....

[Pen]

I couldn't find any more then it being used as slang.. I just noticed that even the media has latched onto it.. Primarily I hear the 20ish crowd using it the most.

A variation is "Don't be hatin' " which is used to call someone on their angry speech:

For example, when DIL exclaimed "I hate old people," DS said to her, "Baby, don't be hatin.' "

[Pooh]

Laurie
regarding the woman who fell into the fountain....
The woman was texting...wasn't watching where she was going...I've had many people do that, and almost walk right into me....so, yeah, I think it's funny...it was her misgiving....she created the issue, she is responsible, the mall didn't Sell it to anyone, it was placed on U-Tube, so maybe someone else caught it on they're cell...the woman claims embarrassment and is so upset b/c everyone is laughing....tough, and maybe she learned her lesson, b/c maybe she also drives and does texting?  Who knows, maybe she doesn't, however, she is responsible for her own actions, and she goofed...Remember the show, "People do the darnest things"  They'd have a field day with this one...or how bout American's funniest video's....frankly the woman should be laughing at herself, thanking fate for a lesson learned....b/c of her someone could get really hurt....

I just saw this woman on tv, it is believed that the security office allowed someone to use a telephone to copy their original film and then it was posted.  I'm with the woman and I'd have the shrewdest attorney I could find.

This shows how callous we've become, I'm not saying that I'm any less guilty, as I high fived my daughter for tripping a social snot who treated her as if she didn't exist.  I think/know we are all guilty to a certain degree.

At some point you'd think that common sense would come into play.  Or is it now every man for himself?  What about the first responders who used a cell phone to photograph a decapitated young girl, who it was later proven had caused her own one car accident. This photo was shared with the rest of the world with nothing more then a click of a send button.. of course those photos eventually made it to her parent's computer. Who gets to declare when something is funny and worthy of mass mailings, or a word is only offensive at certain times.

Did you guys see the news on this, this morning?  This same lady was in court yesterday because she stole a friend or coworkers credit card and rang up $5k on it!  Now, I agree if the security guys sold or gave out the video surveillance, I don't blame her for being angry, that would be wrong, but now I am not convinced of her intentions.....

[LaurieS]

For all anyone knows, she may have staged the whole thing.. but if the surveillance tapes were distributed, she has a case.. if she sues, now she can pay back her co-worker