November 30, 2023, 08:50:06 AM


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son wanting to move in

Started by raindrops_on_my_soul, July 01, 2021, 08:52:18 AM

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My  son that's in his 30s is having to leave the place he's been sharing with someone because they aren't getting along. He has nowhere to go but does have alittle money put aside. He is wanting to quit his job and come here ( 1000 miles away) without securing another job first and with no real idea of how to make all of this happen. He has no place to stay once he gets here so he wants to move in with us. He has child support and other responsibilities to take care of. He told me he can't pay all of his bills and live on his own because he won't be able to make it financially. He has a long history of picking up and leaving the place he's at when things get tough, and has made several major moves in his lifetime. He also has some anger issues and a bit of an attitude. I also know he can be manipulative when he feels the need to. He says if we don't let him move in with us he will be homeless and has really put me in a very bad situation because my husband  (not his father) has said no, he will not live with him. My husband doesn't feel that my son has a real plan to move out if he moves in, and doesn't feel he can live with some of my sons ways. If it were up to me only I would probably let him. I told my son to get an apartment for the time being but he insists that he can't. I explained to him that I can't fix a lifetime of bad decisions for him, as much as I would like to. And to me I really think he expects me to do exactly that. He said some mean things to me out of anger when I told him he couldn't move in and threw it in my face that me and my husband have the things we need in life. He then texted me bye, as if to say he was done talking to me. The audacity he had is just beyond belief, and to realize that he based his relationship with me off of what I could do for him is just sad. He was being sweet when he felt he might have a chance of moving in, but once he realized he couldn't, he turned immediately into a very mean person. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, or how we can ever get back to some kind of normalcy. I don't even know if I should be trying after all of this has happened. Maybe I should just leave him alone but of course I love him and so it's hard. I want him to have a place of his own and be able to make it....sighs


Oh R, how sad that you are in this situation!  I have no idea what I would do.  I would want to help my DS so much but perhaps it is time for him to learn some hard life lessons?   Is there some way you can help him get a job?  Maybe you could help him make a resume?  Send him a list of people around you who are hiring.  There are lots of folks around here who are hiring.  Good luck!!

Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
Author unknown

not like the movies

When you say no to someone and they get angry that's a red flag IMHO.
When you pick up a stick you get both ends!