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A book that touched me and gave me a lot of hope!

Started by Alicev, July 12, 2009, 11:25:55 AM

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July 12, 2009, 11:25:55 AM Last Edit: July 12, 2009, 10:49:05 PM by Forum Moderator
Hi everyone!

I want to share a recent book that I read, that touched me deeply and that I hope would be of help to some of you in this forum.

It is called The Grief Club: The Secret to Getting Through All Kinds of Change by Melody Beattie.

How to move on after a major loss, such as the death of a loved one, the end of a career, or a health crisis.

After author Melody Beattie’s son died, she found herself welcomed into new “club,” a circle of people who had lived through the tragic loss of a child. This was not the first club in which she unwittingly found herself. Years earlier she found herself in Twelve Step groups, first balking, then later embracing the healing principles that she now credits with saving her life. But life, Ms. Beattie writes, is all about change. Not only do loved ones die, but once successful careers can careen out of control and debilitating diseases can rob you of future plans. Smaller losses can take a toll as well. The natural process of aging leaves many people with a depleted sense of worth, and staying abreast with current technologies leaves many people feeling ill-informed and inadequate.

She writes, “There’s a secret to get through loss, pain and grief. If we’re alone we can’t see who we are. When we join the club, other people become the mirror. Through them, we see ourselves and gain an understanding of what we’re going through. Then slowly, real slowly, we learn to accept who we see in the mirror. Then you become the mirror for them; by being honest about who you are, you’ll help them learn to love and accept themselves.”

This book is so full of understanding, every page I read, I thought to myself this is exactly how I feel. It really is written from heart to heart.

I bought it from amazon.com, however, I am sure they have it in bookstores.


July 13, 2009, 08:50:46 AM #1 Last Edit: July 13, 2009, 09:52:55 AM by luise.volta
Thanks so much, I have ordered mine.  :D And anyone who wants to can click on the title in your post (in blue) and order from here.

In the retirement center where we live there is a caregivers' group and a grief group. I think I will join the care givers' group since I am doing more and more of that. Great suggestion...to move beyond trying to be self-contained."
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


Dear Alicev,
You have so much wisdom for such a young age. I was amazed when I saw your profile and you were only 30 years old!  There must have been a lot of learning for you and maybe a lot of grief that you had to endure over the years.  I appreciate your wisdom. 

Would you share with us how you came to know all that you do?  I would love to hear it.  Thanks  :)


well, you are one very bright young woman. I know if you don't have an MIL, you will be good to her because you've learned so much.  Keep it up, we need it!!  We got caught blindsided.