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confused

Started by Mary B, December 22, 2019, 08:28:52 am

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Mary B

Hi I am 59yrs old I have only one child he is 40 yrs old I had him at a very young age and was not a great mother I even went through a few yrs of a drinking problem when my son got married and had his first child he stopped all contact with me for 8 yrs never asking how I was to any family members Well I found a way to let him know I have been alcohol free for 4 yrs and told him I was going to see about talking to a lawyer about seeing my 2 grand children he finally called me and was very angry . I didnt hear any thing back from him so I emailed him and let him know that there are consaqunches to all this so he put 2 and 2 together and figuared it had to do with money and my will So he finally got back in touch and told the 2 boys ^ and 8 year olds that I exsist and came over with them did I do the right thing in dangeling the money issue ? beacuse he is still trating me the same very poorly I have been mailing gifts and money ect ect and did not even get a Christmas of Birthday card or a phone call I dont know if I should tell him how I feel or say nothing ? desparet for help Mary B

luise.volta

Welcome, M. If you are Mary B. in real-life, please change your User Name here so you may remain anonymous. 'Confused' might be a good one. 

We ask all new members to go to our Homepage and under Open Me First, to read the posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to the Forum Agreement, to be sure WWU is a good fit for you. We are a monitored Website.

I have had serious issues with my eldest son and am so sorry you are experiencing that, as well. What I finally learned the hard way and very slowly over time was that my happiness was up to me...not him. I had expectations that weren't met and so did he. Money is a poor basis for a relationship, isn't it? It can buy contempt and manipulation, among other things. What I finally learned was that my well-being was up to me and there were things that were much worse than estrangement. When I got that, I took my power back. For me, that involved going my own way, alone...making my own friends, and creating a life that suited me. 

That isn't a blueprint. We are all different...but I have been a happy camper for years and would never go back. I'm not perfect, no way, but I matter.

Many hugs!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama