My husband and I took a stand against rejecting daughter.

[luise.volta]

That's something I don't do. On both of my Websites, I am the only one who isn't anonymous and who names others. It was my decision to do that for the sake of authenticity. As a result, I have more offers than I can cope with (some out of state.) I hope you understand that I don't have the time or energy to follow up or I would. Sending love...

[GrandmaShermie]

My daughter is very similar.  She is 32 y.o. and about 4 years ago she left her husband of 7 years for his best friend. They both refused to acknowledge me, and soon after that my daughter cut me off completely.  I was very close to her two young children, but have to go through other relatives to see them and probably see them once or twice a year.  I truly believe that part of the reason for this epidemic of abusive children is a result of the drug culture that has taken over.  Prescription pills are a large part of the problem as well as illegal drugs, particularly alcohol and marijuana, which are becoming increasingly acceptable with young people. They will have a complete personality change once using drugs, and not for the better.  I wish I had some answers.  My son died 9 years ago and I don't have any other children.  I am single.  Sometimes I think about adopting a "new family."  It hurts beyond belief.  I am also carrying around a lot of anger that I know is not good for my health!

[luise.volta]

Got for it!

In our 21 years together, DH and I have "adopted" 7 adult children. Three guys and five gals. They just drifted into our lives for one reason and another, stayed and became part of it, permanently. They would all take a bullet for either of us.

The last time we got together (only one was out of state and couldn't make it, and he called) it was my birthday. Kirk sat there watching them all gift me with cards and stories...and then he stood up, toasted me and said ''Gosh, I've got to say you're like family to me!" And everyone howled.

They all share...they all give us great respect and they are all healing toxic relationship with their own parents on one level or another. I have a picture...collage...of all of us together. The youngest just turned 50 and the oldest is 62 and they all call us Mom and Val-dad.  It's wonderful!

[stilltryen]

That's something I don't do. On both of my Websites, I am the only one who isn't anonymous and who names others. It was my decision to do that for the sake of authenticity. As a result, I have more offers than I can cope with (some out of state.) I hope you understand that I don't have the time or energy to follow up or I would. Sending love...

Oh sweetie, that's fine.  It that's your policy, that's your policy and I can respect that.  I was just surprised to read that.  Thanks for setting up the websites tho, pretty awesome - and thanks for letting us post and vent away.

[luise.volta]

I do the same thing (post and vent) and then I often heal and move on.  This is an equal-opportunity forum! 

[tigerdpaws]

GrandmaShermie, at least on here, we have friends in a similiar situation.... and we can express ourselves and get comfort....just before my daughter had her bf say these things to my husband, she had a miscarriage. My daughter always took birth control and said she would never have kids. When she got pregnant, she txt"d me instead of calling me. Her bf questioned her...a couple of days later, she lost the baby. She knew we were devastated, but she never liked children. She was glad she lost it.....she txt"d us again to let us know that she lost it....my healing process began when  I realized, that, you cannot make someone love you, if they don"t. She has not tried to contact us at all since May, she did not acknowledge her dad"s birthday or anything....but she will do anything for anyone else...we will never understand it, it is a waste of time trying to, we just do the things we love to do...I often look at her chilhood pictures, she was always bubbly and happy, and then she got into drinking with her uncle and cousins and she changed...drugs and alchohol change people, and not for the good. I pray for her, and put her in Gods Hands and let Him take care of her, I trust Him....I am now thankful for the smallest things in life...because sometimes they are best gifts....Peace

[cdb]

This was a huge awakening for me! My daughter has done the same thing! She repetitively brings her anger about me to her boyfriends (for years now) and I get anger to me from them.  Now to figure out what to do about it??? They have only been together 11 months and she got pregnant right away. This is a pattern of hers too! Only this man is a good one for her and her daughter. I seem to always want to fix things. My counselor told me to act like a logical adult around him and his family and not get sucked in emotionally. She told me to be true to myself too. That is what I have been trying, but it is like walking on eggshells. I was also told to backoff. I am still surprised to read the diagnosis of what my daughter is doing! I feel for you too. My daughter is also in AA and processes things through her sponsor. I hope others respond here too for other ideas.