October 15, 2019, 05:46:49 am

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daughter in law.

Started by Mrs.V, May 19, 2019, 12:33:56 pm

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Mrs.V

2nd daughter-in-law of 7 years has started showing anger and real attitude about the relationship I have with my 1st daughter-in-law,threw other people,not once has she spoken to me directly. X daughter-in -law is also my 1st grandsons mother, and my life long friends daughter.My Daughter-in-law has a daughter the same age as my grandson,and they have our youngest granddaughter together.All of whom we love dearly and have never shown any difference in any of our grand children. My son and his wife get him every other weekend but I seldom see him during this time, nor would I want to take anything away from their time with him. My x daughter-in-law will let me have him any time I ask, always lets me know of up coming events in my grandsons life,if he's sick or needs anything.I don't feel I should have to give up just to please my daughter in law, but would ,just to keep them all happy and in my life.My daughter in law is one to rule the situation.If shes not happy everyone pays. My youngest had her PreK graduation last night and we found out by pictures she posted on FB. I have 5 grand babies my youngest is the only graduation Ive missed.  I feel this is just the beginning of a really bad situation if I don't find the right words for her. Found out today she thinks I told my x daughter-in-law about my son better paying job so she can take them back to court for more money. Really.I never discuss my son personal life with anyone. Not sure where that came from.Any advice?

luise.volta

Welcome, Mrs. V. If that is the first letter of your last name please change your user name to protect your anonymity. We ask all new members to go to our HomePage, and under Open Me First to read the posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to our Forum Agreement to be sure WWU is a fit. We are a Monitored Site. 

I have had some similar but in no way identical issues in my own family. I tried everything I could think of but came up against a wall of pre-conceived notions I wasn't able to alter. A lot of heartache followed and I found it extremely hard to rise above it. In the end, that's all I could do. Others think and do what makes sense to them. A very difficult lesson for me to learn. I ended up doing my best. No one can ever take that away from me.

I hope someone else has a more positive spin on your situation. That's what I love about our forum. In the meantime, I am sending you good wishes and hugs.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Stilllearning

Hi MrsV!!  I am glad you found us!  I have been thinking about your situation and one thing stands out......why did your DIL wait 7 years to start getting an attitude?  Do you think maybe she is having problems with your DS?  Not that it changes matters any but it might make it easier to forgive her. 

Other than that I agree with Luise.  I can only change myself and by and large every time I have tried to suggest that my DS do something differently I have run into a brick wall.  So I learned to focus my life around things that make me happy and ignore the parts I cannot change that make me upset.  My parenting time is over, my DS's parenting time is here.  He will learn his lessons just like I did.

We are here if you need us!!
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
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