May 27, 2019, 05:37:47 am

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Son won't communicate

Started by Glenshellach, April 30, 2019, 08:52:39 pm

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Glenshellach

My son is 21.  He hardly comes out of his room and gets very angry when he is asked to do the simplest of jobs in the house.  He is cold towards other relatives and takes no part in family get togethers.  He is part way through a degree.  He only has on line friends.  He is untidy - not such a big problem I suppose.  hes clever but not getting anywhere.  Life isn't moving on for him and I can't bare his rudeness and disrespect. Yes living his life in his room.  I suspect he's also sensitive to the mildest criticism and doesn't forgive. He gets hurt and angry but won't resolve anything.  What do I do? I want him to be happy....

luise.volta

Good Morning, G. Of course you want happiness for your son. However, he is a young adult and has to want happiness for himself. Treating you with contempt and shutting himself off from any interaction with you surely isn't bringing him joy. 

My sense is that your issue is beyond the scope of this Website and professional help is the next step. You may have already tried that. Again, he is no longer a little boy and you can't make him go. What I might do would be to set some boundaries, as in; counseling and respect or the freebie is over and he will have to move out. He needs to learn that early adulthood isn't a free ride and anything goes...his choices have consequences. It will be very hard to do but I can see from reading your post that you do not want to continue to live in the shadow of your son's abuse and enable him to pout his way into adulthood. That's a 'no go' and may be doing more harm than good.

Before closing this thread, I would like to say that if I were in your shoes, I think I would also find counseling for myself! This is taking a terrible toll on you.

Please know that even if this Website can't help, we can care and we do. Wishing you well and sending hugs.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama