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My Son, DIL & Grandsons

Started by BellaTerra66, July 05, 2010, 07:57:14 AM

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BellaTerra66

I first posted in this community about three weeks ago.  I hadn't seen my oldest son, his wife and my grandsons in 10 years.  Suddenly, my oldest grandson was graduating from high school, and he wanted me there.  But communication between me and my son became the SOS and I decided not to go.  Another reason I decided not to go is because I've become chronically, with something that no doctor has been able to diagnose.  (An NP friend of mine says she thinks it's CFS and Fibromyalgia, for which there are no diagnostic tests.)  Anyway, my grandson graduated on the 18th.  On the 17th, I sent him a long, loving e-mail (my third e-mail to him, and the third one he has not answered).  On the 21st my son and his family left for a week in Hawaii.  It's now -- what? -- two weeks later, since they got home, and I haven't heard from any of them since June 13th. 

I sent a good amount of money to my grandson for his graduation.  He sent me a three-sentence e-mail in return.

I don't need any advice.  I'm just bummed today, and I need to vent.  Ya would think they would at least contact me to see how I'm doing.   :'(

luise.volta

You don't need advice? What about support? None of that makes sense and the hurt is real. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

Bella I know its hard, but since you had not seen them in 10 years prior to this, it sounds like they are just continuing their prior behavior?  If you have sent him 3 emails now with no answer, I think it is time to step back again and wait to see if he replies.  I know that doesn't make it hurt less.

Hang in there Bella.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Nana

Yes Belle....I agree.   Just hand in there and wait.  She have shown to be a very strong person and I admire you for that.     Let things fall by their own force.   You will be alright. 

Good luck
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

BellaTerra66

Thanks, Ladies, but it's too late. A couple of days ago I fowarded him an article out of The NY Times which I thought he would be interested in.  This morning I woke up to a  long, really mean, nasty, sarcastic e-mail from him.  I sipped coffee while I read all the news, took a shower, got dressed.  That all took a couple of hours.  Then I let him have it, in five short sentences.  His response was 12-15 e-mails that scared me.  I didn't read them (altho' there are in my e-mail trash).  The subject lines alone scared me quite enough.  And he sent his e-mails via his work computer/Internet.  If his higher-ups see these e-mails of his, he is going to be in a lot of trouble re his job.

There is something not right mentally with this man.  And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

The new catalog for our Senior Citizens Centers came out on Sunday.  This morning I went to my nearby center and signed up for trips and classes from now to the end of the year.  Saw friends I haven't seen since I got really sick (I really haven't told anyone but my one very close friend and some neighbors here in my apt. complex).  Chatted.  Ate breakfast there.  Went shopping for lasagna fixings and came home, put it together, and took a nap.  Have made a date for next week to go our zoo, park and museusms with three other friends.  (This is NM -- trust me, this zoo isn't going to take long.)  Sure hope I feel up to it next week.

Life goes on.  I don't need to be in his life and vice versa.  I am sure glad I couldn't make that trip out there.

But thank you anyway for your advice.  Really.  I was letting it go until I saw this article I knew he'd want to see.  Man, I never expected what I got in return.  He is just a rude, nasty, mean person.  And he was so sweet all of his life, up he got home from the first Gulf War.  Sigh.  (Hey, I've known MANY active military and Vets who have not wound up like my son.  I am not blaming the military.)




luise.volta

It's never to late to stop sending emails or reading them, close the door...whatever. And good for you re: the Sr. Center! Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Nana

I tell you.....you are so strong.    You are my hero!   yes ...yes....life goes on

You are so positive......you are my inspiration.    I also think that you should not permit anyone to decide your life or happiness.

Hugs
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Pooh

I too admire and respect your strength and glad to see you continuing on with your life.  I hope you feel up to your trip next week and have a great time with your friends.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

BellaTerra66

Thanks, Ladies.

Our Senior Citizen Centers are state-of-the-art.  We get official visits from city reps all over The US.  We've gotten visits from government officials of other countries! 

Ours are open Monday through Saturday, an average of 8 hours a day.  And each one of our six centers can keep you busy all that time and NOT with underwater beanstacking stuff.  I signed up for a 4-month course on how to create primo web pages.  Also, Spanish 101.  Beginning Caligraphy.  Or, and a Pilates core-toning class.  That's not to mention our state-of-the-art exercise rooms (and exercise classes, to boot, along with extensive and varied weight training classes).  We have dancing lessons (every type of dance there is) AND dances each week, one in the aftn and one in the evening, with live bands.  We have pool rooms with beautiful pool tables.

I can have two eggs (made to my order), two strips of bacon/sausage patty, real hash browns, and two pieces of whole grain toast for $1.50, Monday through Friday.  And if a senior citizen is poor, he/she doesn't have to pay.  It's free.  Not the most nutritious food in the world but it's good and it's cheap.

The annual fee is $13 (soon to be $15), and most everything offered is free.  If there is a charge, the worst is $25.00 -- for the whole class, which may last 16 weeks.

More than you EVER wanted to know.  LOLOLOL  But our senior centers are one of the main reasons so many senior citizens retire in NM.  The weather is the other.

Ok, back to reasons why we joined this board.

Pooh

That's amazing!  Too bad all Senior Centers can't be that way.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell