July 20, 2019, 03:56:57 pm

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


DIL's parents

Started by Pen, December 19, 2009, 10:49:20 am

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Pen

Aaaarggghhh! They've done it again! It's their world and we just live in it.

I was so looking forward to a day with DS & DIL. They invited themselves over to cook holiday favorites, but DIL's parents, who they see every day, have pulled us all back and forth with drama and scheduling issues. After a very rough week of home and work emergencies, I wasn't in the mood to be a doormat, so I told DS I needed a definite date/time; I'd already spent lots of time and money on the project. DS sounded tired and frustrated, and of course I don't want to be part of his stress...I'll do anything just to spend a little time with him, but darn it I'm sick and tired of coming last.

Kudos, though, to DS; he told DIL his top priority was seeing us and then doing the charity work that would take up the other free day they had. DIL actually agreed, although I know it's hard for her to go against her parents. Well, DIL's parents pushed and now the plans are changed again putting me, DH and DDD in a mad rush to get everything together in a moment's notice. DH said NO, they're jacking us around again. I explained that it wasn't really DS & DIL's fault this time...I'm a sucker, I know.

Like I said, "Aaarrrghhhh!"


Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

2chickiebaby

Oh Penstaman!!
I'm am so sorry this happened again!!  Gosh!  I really am....Oh, I hope it goes well when they do come...it's hard, I know.  Drats!!! :'(


Pen

They came, we cooked, it went pretty well...I could have done without the last minute stress of getting it all together and worrying about how the house looked, and I was very very exhausted from work and DDD and so on....but DIL tried hard to be pleasant, and DS was thrilled to have us all working on a project together! I'm not letting down all my protective gear yet, since we've been burned before, but it was great to be able to honestly say "We loved having you here!" while giving her an honest, loving hug. I'm keeping my hopes up for Christmas - DS is bound to be a little disappointed since we are not up to our usual standards this year; too many other semi-emergency things to deal with and not enough time. But we'll sure do our best, and that's all I can do.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

2chickiebaby

Great news, Penstaman!  So good to hear.... :)

cremebrulee

Quote from: penstamen on December 19, 2009, 10:49:20 am
Aaaarggghhh! They've done it again! It's their world and we just live in it.

I was so looking forward to a day with DS & DIL. They invited themselves over to cook holiday favorites, but DIL's parents, who they see every day, have pulled us all back and forth with drama and scheduling issues. After a very rough week of home and work emergencies, I wasn't in the mood to be a doormat, so I told DS I needed a definite date/time; I'd already spent lots of time and money on the project. DS sounded tired and frustrated, and of course I don't want to be part of his stress...I'll do anything just to spend a little time with him, but darn it I'm sick and tired of coming last.

Kudos, though, to DS; he told DIL his top priority was seeing us and then doing the charity work that would take up the other free day they had. DIL actually agreed, although I know it's hard for her to go against her parents. Well, DIL's parents pushed and now the plans are changed again putting me, DH and DDD in a mad rush to get everything together in a moment's notice. DH said NO, they're jacking us around again. I explained that it wasn't really DS & DIL's fault this time...I'm a sucker, I know.

Like I said, "Aaarrrghhhh!"



yanno, I wonder, if sometimes these DIL's are unconcsiously testing they're husbands....and would like them to pull in the reins once in a while...it's proven that when a husband puts down his foot, it usually works...

Good for you...you deserves some quality time with them.....