October 24, 2020, 09:53:18 pm


"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

It never ends , sorry to say

Started by lancaster lady, May 21, 2018, 02:48:52 pm

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

lancaster lady

I am an old timer on this site going back a few years , the ladies helped me enormously in my time of need .
Fast forward eight years .....
My DS just had his 40th birthday. . I was assured he wanted no party or fuss and visited him the day before his birthday with best wishes .
On his actual birthday , my DIL planned a dinner with all her family .
My invite never arrived .
My DS knew nothing as it was a surprise ,
I have yet to speak to his wife !
After all these years it still hurts , her secret card is the GC   SHE KNOWS I will always be there for them .
I think this is her best yet .
My wish , KARMA ......


Oh, how difficult for both you and your son! Yes, I do believe 'what goes around, comes around'! It has many names. I kinda' like "Gotcha'! Hugs...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


Ouch, Lancaster Lady!  That gotta hurt.  It sounds like what your son wanted and what he got for his birthday were two different things.  The things he must have to put up with...

While you say "she knows" you will always be there for your grandchildren, THEY also know that, and isn't that what matters most?

lancaster lady

Thankyou for your kind reply .
However they're still quite young and impressionable , she tends to poison their minds with made up stories . Until they're at the age when they can make up their own minds , we're kinda at her mercy .


Someone at the party must have asked where his parents were.  I wonder, did she make up a story or tell the truth that she didn't invite you? I would let my son know the truth - that you were not invited.I agree about Karma.Or you could bring it up when you see her - say I am so disappointed that we didn't get to be at our son's birthday!  Sad and unnecessary to be cruel like this.     

lancaster lady

I'm in my cooling off period at the moment , always wise to do this . Otherwise I would blow a gasket and be cut off . I think that's what she wants .
So by keeping cool it hopefully will annoy her to death .
Sneaky huh ?
Been at this a long time now , doesn't get any easier .

Frustrated Oma

I am newer to this site but I can so relate.  My DIL is our biggest problem.  Every time we invite them to any family function, it takes days or weeks for a response because during this time my DS  (so he says) has to beg and plead to get her to consent to attending.  Lately, my son has been showing up by himself.  We have a 7 month old GC in which I have seen only a handful of times since birth.  He is unable to bring the GC with him when he comes by himself because she breast feeds and refuses to pump, no bottles so she has to be with the baby at all times.  I just don't get it, we have been so accepting of her since the first time he brought her to meet us.  So hard to deal with this. ...

lancaster lady

Hello frustrated one ,
I don't get it either . My DS was never allowed to come alone , with or without GC .
I was told we come as a unit .....well most of the time  this is not at all .
My DIL blows hot and cold , this used to bother me greatly , however I now refuse to be upset .
If it wasn't for the GC it wouldn't bother me at all not seeing my DS or DIL at all .
Why waste time onn people who never give you a second thought .
As years go by you begin to look after yourself  , why beg ? If people want to see you they will make time . It's hard to accept but easier on your heart .