Author Topic: My son rejects me  (Read 147 times)

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MCastro

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My son rejects me
« on: May 12, 2018, 08:08:23 AM »
Hello, My adult son has been living at home for 27 years and he recently moved out with a friend. He has a bachelors degree in biology but has no interest in persueing a career?? He currently works in a warehouse, All though It disappointed me, I never turned my back on him. He did get in trouble with the law  and was also caught with drugs. My issue is that he won't tell me where he lives nor answer my calls or texts. I feel he hates me and I don't know what
To do?? He used to tell me everything,  I can only think that he rejects me because his father and I argued constantly while he was growing up and was spanked by his father many times for just being a kid, And that was most of our arguments. I feel is all my fault but he still won't talk to me and ignores all my texts? I Have tried everything and he even closed his Facebook account?? I was seeing a therapist but didn't do much good, I am depressed, I cry when I get no respond from him? I just want him to tell me why he rejects me, I love him so much. I call him, leave him messages to say that I am so sorry for everything. I don't know what else to do and I can use some advise?
Thank you!


« Last Edit: May 12, 2018, 07:51:42 PM by Bamboo2 »

Offline luise.volta

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Re: My son rejects me
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2018, 11:48:52 AM »
Welcome, M. If you have used your given name, please choose a user name that will protect you anonymity.


We ask all new members to go to our HomePage and under Open Me First to read the posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to the Forum agreement to be sure WWU is a fit. We're a monitored Website.


We don't give advice here, M. None of us are professionals and where advice is concerned, that's what's needed. We share our experience and often because of what we've been through, understand much of what another mom is experiencing.


I realized with my eldest son that his choices when he reached the threshold of adulthood were destructive and potentially dangerous. He thought he 'was' an adult and that what he did was great. The consequences were the lessons he called in and none of it had anything to do with me. I hated that. As his mom, everything had always been about me. I was his guide and protector. There was no way I could make sense of the senseless. All I could do was to get back to my own life, pre-mom, and take it from there. That worked for me. I found there were no whys. Hugs...
« Last Edit: May 12, 2018, 11:52:16 AM by luise.volta »
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Bamboo2

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Re: My son rejects me
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2018, 07:50:55 PM »
Hi M,
Welcome! I agree with Luise about changing your user name.  I will also delete your signature line in your post.  We stay anonymous to protect ourselves and our loved ones. 

As Luise mentioned, we don't give advice here.  When I had issues with my adult daughter, I enlisted the support of a therapist, and it was the third one I saw who gave me the best help. 

Like you, I spent a lot of time trying to communicate with a daughter who didn't respond to me.  I was desperate to hold on to any semblance of a relationship, and apologize for anything and everything.  She continually rejected me or gave me the cold shoulder.  Finally I stopped chasing her, and backed off.  I changed the dynamic, and put myself first.  She slowly began to reconnect.  There were a lot of steps forward and backward, but I stopped making her my everything - which was healthier for both of us. 

Wishing you well...