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Getting through the final break from son

Started by amflautist, February 17, 2018, 12:48:39 am

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Stilllearning

You go girl!!!  I am so happy for you!  Sounds like you have an excellent handle on the situation and have already started the healing.  Keep up the good work and remember we are here for you should you wander back into the abyss (I did several times and still do on occasion). 

And you are right, Luise and this website saved my marriage and my sanity and transformed my life.  I owe all the wise women here a debt that I can never repay.  Thanks!
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
Author unknown

Bamboo2

Yay for you, AM flautist!  You're turning a corner and we're all here rooting for you!  It feels so good to walk around with a new lightness.  I think we all have to learn how to let go in small and big ways.  For me, one big turning point was getting rid of old journal entries that were written in anger or sadness.  I used to revisit them time and again and it led to me reliving those events and feelings, sort of like PTSD.  I could even feel my body tense up and my heart start racing and my breath suspended.  Now I choose to turn the page and remove the negativity.  It's healing and liberating.

You will survive this and face a new direction.  So happy for you  :D

luise.volta

P.S. Forgot to comment on sleep. That's when our body does serious healing and for me, needing more sleep indicates its doing the work needed. More hugs...



Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

amflautist

My heart is breaking.  Not for me, but for DH.  Today is DS's birthday.  DH was crying, and he sent the song Danny Boy to DS.  These are the lyrics.

Oh Danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling
From glen to glen and down the mountain side
The summer's gone and all the flowers dying
'Tis you 'tis you must go and I must bide
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy oh Danny boy I love you so

I talked to DH.  It's clear he feels the break more acutely than I do right now.  I asked him if the recent events made things harder for him (being uninvited to our GSs birthday party just 2 hours before we were to get on the plane). He said yes, said he was playing that song in the car yesterday and he started crying.  Said he had just pushed things into the background before that.  He was crying again as he told me.

Wow, what damage children can do.  I'm feeling quite strong right now, so I can be the support arm.  Good thing we have each other.  Good thing I have this wonderful group of women to talk to!  Thank you all.

luise.volta

I'm so sorry DH is feeling it so deeply. And yet, how could he not? We can't make sense of the senseless. My heart goes out to him and I'm so glad he has you...and you have us.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Frustrated Oma

Dear Luise Volta, your post of February 21st, is my story to a T.  The only difference is my DS and DIL pulled away even more once the baby came along.  The point of now his family has to deal with it,  heal or not... is precisely the struggle I am enduring at this point.  It's terrible to hope your child's 2 year marriage ends in the near future?