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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


sad, stressed, and visiting soon

Started by stilltrying2010, July 04, 2010, 07:38:13 AM

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luise.volta

It's so tough to find a way. If you cave...you lose and if you create boundaries...you can face loss as well. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

catchingup


It is sad that most of the time when issues arise they are not dealt with by the 2 parties concerned but involve a third party.

That is why I always prefer to refer to the bible commandments as instructions given for our benefit and not laws to make our lives a boring religous misery.
Whether it be the old or new testament or the quran?? Spelling??
If we plant a good seed it grows into a fruitful tree but a bad seed must be pulled up by the roots.

Its crazy, here I am having a problem with a family and the family and I dont discuss the problem. It is discussed via third parties--our dear children.
This is not good. I dont want to be a bone of contention in their relationship but I get dragged into it. Its horrible.

What else could I do but simply put my foot down.

I have a feeling that there is regret on this family's part and I think it is going to be a matter of give a little and take a little until it irons itself out which I hope it does.

I mean if they came to me today and decided to talk it out with me I would do so with pleasure or am I the one who should be approaching them.
Guess it is just a matter of "Humble yourself" but I was not the one who started all this.

I just feel I need to tread very carefully until I can really analyse this FDIL's mother who seems to be the real issue here. Red flag still up.

Thanks for your wise words Luise.

What would all these women do  without WWU. You are a Star.