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19y/o SD and dad problems

Started by Unsure1972, August 27, 2016, 04:25:48 PM

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Unsure1972

Will try to do this with as little info as I can but it will be hard. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship and I 3 from previous marriage. Been together 6 years. His oldest at 19 (sd) has been in and out of institutions (which shw views as vacations says what she has learned to say and leaves )and plays games with her dad.tries to manipulate anyway and anyone she can. One day she hates dad cuz mom does next she hates mom. Only when hates mom does she want anything to do with dad. She has lied stolen money from me her dad and grandmother. Her uncle died and WE had to go get her and in middle of funeral just HAD to take her home. My SD and I do not get along because she knows I don't play into her games. She recently showed up at our house with a cop stating mom's b/f pulled a taser on her. Since her I and my one daughter do not get along ( house is mine from prior to her dad and i) it has since been stated she is not welcome here due to the past trouble  she has caused.dad took her 2 blocks to his mom's house. Only to find out she wanted baby shower stuff and text mom to bring it there unbeknownst to hubby.mom shows up ruckus occurs cops are called. SD doesn't tell dad she text ,the cop does.  Tells dad all kinds of things and she is done with mom only to be with her mom the NEXT day. Doesn't contact dad for months .changes her phone numb 20 times calls him to inform him she had the baby without so much as a hi dad how are you.just I had the baby when r u coming to give me stuff for the baby since I don't have anything. Mind you there is so much more I'm leaving out of this story. Bottom line is this. I have reached the end of my rope and I don't know what to do anymore. I love my husband and I want him to be happy. As a parent myself I WANT him to have a  relationship with her albeit a cautious one . I can not have one with her due to a small bit of the afore stated. I am willing to step back away for him to have a relationship with her but he doesn't want me to. How can I be supportive of that when I know deep in my heart and by past patterns he WILL get hurt once again?

luise.volta

August 27, 2016, 05:19:12 PM #1 Last Edit: August 27, 2016, 05:23:08 PM by luise.volta
Dear, U., I have read and reread your post and feel that our Website is not the answer. I sincerely recommend counseling for you and your husband. We are not professionals here. My take is you can't change another person and the only person who can protect your husband from further hurt...is himself. To get solid direction please give yourselves the best possible solution to what has become overwhelming in your lives. This the best I can offer, as the owner of this Website. You both deserve the undivided attention of someone highly skilled.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama