Author Topic: Wrong to be hurt?  (Read 5559 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline luise.volta

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8974
  • Luise Volta
    • View Profile
    • Wise Women Unite
Re: Wrong to be hurt?
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2016, 10:11:51 AM »
What often needs to eventually be worked on is our support system. Good for you for seeing the strong difference between your cousin's approach and your MIL's. DH comes from that home and  it was his norm. He didn't agree but he learned not to openly disagree. You are left to do that, which can't help but bring discord to your marriage. Where he grew up was her home. Where the two of you live is in a newly established family unit. It may be time for some relationship counseling. Hugs...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Green Thumb

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 169
    • View Profile
Re: Wrong to be hurt?
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2016, 08:15:13 AM »
You mentioned trying to please everyone and this is the real root of the problem. If you felt confident in your decision to use your cousin's advice and not use pink granite, you'd be able to brush off MIL comments and not argue this with husband.

The need to please everyone and be liked is often rooted in our own low self esteem or feeling like we are unworthy or not lovable. Having weak boundaries is inside of us, not caused by the MIL or husband. Work on these issues inside yourself rather than focusing on conflict with MIL.

Like I said before, stop including her in your personal life in order to get affirmation or love from her. Isn't going to happen and just makes you miserable. You are chasing the wrong thing. Get your affirmation from inside of yourself and if you can't do this, counseling will truly help.

I know as I am.