March 29, 2020, 02:51:20 pm


"Welcome to -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

34 years of age only daughter's psycopathy

Started by lynne, February 05, 2016, 09:16:33 am

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


Hello wise women, February 5 2016
this is my first hello.  i am 61 single. bit of background about myself. both of my parents had mental illnesses desperately messed up. i saw my only brother become an unstable monstrous person, an alcoholic. we have not seen one another for thirty years. both parents were victims of sexual abuse my mother over an extended period, her abuser, her father. i was victim of the same, father was eventually  caught by my mother and it stopped when she found him with me but by then it was too late. i had been broken. you see i had been a baby when it began and when i was eleven he told me it had been his job to break me. he shared me with others. i have never married, live alone and spend all my time alone. i'm dead inside.

i receive social benefits. i've no life. none. i take long walks and watch tv every day. i have been diagnosed with ME some years ago and lost my social life. i've no husband, no son, no brother, no father. i have become a follower of Jesus' word and hope i will survive this brokeness with his help. therapy was no help. my reason for posting this is because of what i see in my daughter. she is an only child.

my daughter is cold. cold as ice. i see her, i visit her and her boys at home she never comes to see me, never calls me on the phone. never asks how i am, has never told me anything nice but is forever negative, complaining. she lives locally and what i have seen of her lately the way she relates in particular to her first born he is 16 is concerning. She rattles on at him without a pause the moment he arrives home from work demanding his attention. it's as if there is no one else in the room, ignores his brothers and has completely ignored me as if i am invisible when there. she monitors the time he is in the shower and is i think so controlling i would not be shocked if my dear grandson was headed for something. father is military and clueless. he sits when he comes home, does little with the boys and his inaction appears to be fuelling my daughter's natural coldness, his indifference appears to be fuelling her psycopathy. Yes there it is, i'm frightened because i do believe she is a psycopath. she stares at me her partner and sometimes her children without blinking is bossy with her boys. her voice has no colour. she has no sense of humour. she rarely smiles and when she does she will often do a sideways look more of a sneer. I have given and given. I don't love her now. i do love my grandsons. it's killing me. the other day my ten year old grandson told me "dad pushed J (little brother 3) away and keeps sending him to bed" he had'nt been home for two weeks so had'nt seen the boys in that time.

i see that my eldest grandson has taken on the behaviours he sees at home.  each morning he's up at 5.30 for work, he has an appreticeship at a local firm and seems to enjoy it at least this is what my daughter has said.

last weekend i texted my eldest grandson saying i hoped his weekend would be an enjoyable one and did he have plansl. he sent back that his weekends were boring, that there was nothing to do. he was with some pals in McDonalds. i sent back some information/practical and suggested that they might plan something for the following weekend so that he would have that to look forward to. gave him some positive feedback. i went to the library yesterday and got a three month sub so that he could use the pc's in the library at the weekend if he wanted to. i know he's saving for a car of his own. mum and dad have said they would pay for his driving lessons once he has saved a certain figure. i wrote out his library card number/password and took it to their home for him. my daughter appeared puzzled by it said "what's that for". i asked her to give it to R that he might look in the library on the weekends since he's nothing planned and had been bored.  she appeared shocked told me he was not bored at all and was "never in". she appears clueless. it is as if she does'nt want anyone else to know him, love him. it scares me for his future relationships. his self esteem is not where it ought to be likewise his confidence. he was always a thoughtful boy and his kindness is lovely. please someone.


February 06, 2016, 08:46:26 pm #1 Last Edit: February 08, 2016, 06:48:57 pm by luise.volta
Dear L. My Website is not staffed by professionals and we have no training or malpractice insurance to guide you in the issues you are facing. We send you love and caring but from what you have written, you undoubtedly are in need of more than that. No one has responded because of the magnitude of what you are facing. What we do here is share like experiences. We support each other in the more common areas of family dynamics. Please know this is not a rejection. We simply don't know how to help you and are deeply hopeful you will find the professional help we don't offer here. The last thing we would ever want to do is the make it more difficult. Hugs to you and yours.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama