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daughterinlaw not happy

Started by nina, March 20, 2015, 07:25:05 pm

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It is best to know what your DIL thinks even if it is hateful and horrible.

Even in the USA, some families pick each other apart and back stab out the wazoo. They all want to be the number one child, and the one giving the criticism not taking it. My inlaws started out really nice and then I found out how nasty mean and hateful they all were and how much they talk trash about each other behind their back.

Some parents feel that if their AD/AS likes the in laws, then this means there is less love for themselves. I find this really sad. I am in the situation where the other inlaws are really nice but the mother's whole focus in life is the grandchildren so if my daughter ever has a kid, her husband's mother will have to be "best grandmother" and take over like she has done with her older daughters. These people's whole life is their kids/grandkids and keeping them "close." The husband of the married daughter seems to fade into the background and his parents are never invited either.


nina

I actually sent my DIL a card for Mothers Day. Just wanted her  to know if she needs us we are here. My son travels allot so wanted her to know. I don't expect to hear back, but I felt better about it. And I guess wisdom comes with age??

Pen

We just can't have expectations. They will put us under for sure!

I'm sorry you are at the receiving end of what appears to be a DIL who decided way before she ever met you that you would not be allowed to be in her life in any way, shape or form. This does happen, as bizarre as it may seem to most of us. Unfortunately, when you are faced with this sort of person, there isn't much you can do except change your reaction and move on.

Easier said than done, I know! This site helped me get through the worst of it. Wisdom comes with age and with WWU :)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

nina

I think I'm accepting that, my son says he doesn't want his wife to hamper our relationship, it just seems awkward now. Hoping things will fall into place at some point. Thank you for replying always nice to see I'm not alone:)