June 24, 2019, 05:32:16 am

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Any Suggestions ...

Started by jdtm, February 27, 2015, 05:42:23 am

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

jdtm

I believe our teenaged granddaughter suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder.  I believe that she inherited this awful disorder from her mother.  Our granddaughter has been ousted from her mother's home, her father's home, her maternal grandparents's home and is now residing in a cousin's home.  She was doing well in school, but has not been attending classes for one week (and probably won't return).  She also spent six months in a drug rehabilitation facility.  She threatens suicide - don't know how much of this is attention and how much of this is real.  I believe she saw her doctor this week who started her on a new and stronger medication. 

My husband and I were willing to take her into our home up to one week ago.  I just can't handle all the drama.  And yet, if she does commit suicide ....  I know having her in our home will not work.  I just don't know what to do to help her.  I am tired of crying.  Anyway, I guess I know what you are going to say - cry and then get on with your life.  Nonetheless .....

stilltrying2010

(((Jdtm))) not sure what advise to give I am certain some Wisewoman will.  I hear your pain and cant imagine being in the position you are in. Rock and hard place.... know that all your wanting, hoping, and action willnot change your grandaughter. She has to want it for herself. Doesnt make it any easier though...

luise.volta

Oh, J., I'm so sorry. Having to watch that and get that you can't change it must be excruciating. My heart goes out to you all...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

So sorry. I know that must be terribly difficult.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

jdtm

 
QuoteI believe she saw her doctor this week who started her on a new and stronger medication. 


Big change for the better in the past few days.  Here's hoping ....

Stilllearning

We all have our fingers crossed for you (and her of course)!!  Thanks for the uplifting update.
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
Author unknown

Dollie

Jdtm....my younger daughter has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder she has had problems for years she is now 30 she moved out of the home when she was 18.....as a child she always craved more attention than a normal child would and if she didn't get it she would make life difficult for everyone around her and still does......Drama she could win an Oscar for her performances! Her siblings want nothing to do with her.....It isn't  always inherited a trauma can set it off or it could be something that happened in their childhood...it gets to the stage where you can't tell the difference between the truth and lies that come out of her mouth and now I just take everything with a pinch of salt...I have too for my own sanity....she's had no end of help offered her from psychiatrists and doctors but she never follows through with any of the treatment and she wonders why there's no improvement to her health! she went through a stage of cutting herself off from all the family and it's only recently I've managed to get back in contact with her via email I cant see it getting any more than that ...her emails are all the same its all about her! There no love on her part it's as if im emailing a complete stranger....im very careful in what i say to her for fear she will cut me off again but  at least I know she's alive....
There's nothing you can do to help your grandaughter as she has to want to help herself...

jdtm

Thanks Dollie - I  needed to hear that there is nothing that I can do to help our granddaughter; she must do that herself.  She did go and see her doctor who diagnosed her with severe anxieties, very highly sensitive, and probably a personality disorder (can't believe that her doctor picked up on so many of these issues so quickly).  Ironically, our granddaughter is not upset with any of these diagnoses; almost as if she is looking for an "answer".  Anyway, she returns next week for a follow-up.  Things have been some better; but not perfect.  But, things never will be "perfect", will they?  At least we know where she is and is back in school.

Dollie

Just be there for her when she needs you and tell her that your there if she wants to talk...don't pressure her as there's times she will want to shut herself off from people...I don't have any personal contact with my daughter but email her once a week just to let her know im here if she needs me..

I hope your grandaughter is more sensible than mine and takes the help and medication she's offered ..I wish her and you well xx

jdtm

Just a quick update - Forgot that I wrote this posting - everything is going so well with our granddaughter that I hesitate to write (do not want to jinx my "good fortune").  She is back at school doing wonderfully, working part-time and has "found" a couple of really good friends as well as reconnecting with her parents.  She still struggles from time to time; but all in all, her progress is beyond our expectations.  So, sometimes the "sun does shine". 

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

J, thanks for the update! I'm glad things are going well for your GD (& you!) No jinxies, lol.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Bamboo2

Thanks for sharing this great news!  It's a good reminder that none of us knows what the future holds.  Just when you think there is no hope, a ray of sunlight appears.   :)