Author Topic: Estrangement from Daughter  (Read 1528 times)

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Offline WWJD

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Estrangement from Daughter
« on: July 28, 2014, 09:06:49 AM »
I have tried on several occasions over the last 8-10 years to find out what is bothering my daughter so much that she has totally cut herself off from her Father, Sister and Myself.  She refuses to make any contact or attempt to end this estrangement.  I send birthday and Christmas presents over, (with my son), for my grandchildren, but I never know if they are given to the kids.  My daughter has maintained some contact with her brother but he tells us that it is just on the surface, they don't talk about anything important.  I'm very sad right now because at the end of the month they will all be moving to China for maybe as long as 5 yrs.  I have offered to do anything she wants to end this but she still doesn't reply.  My son-in law is a real gem and anyone would be happy to have him in their family.  I just don't understand any of this.. My grandchildren don't even know who we are.  I can't help but think that when the kids get a little older they will start asking questions about who their grandparents are and why they don't know us. 
I am not very good on the computer so I don't know if I will ever be able to find out if anyone has any suggestions but I guess it was good to write a little about this.  Thanks

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Estrangement from Daughter
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2014, 11:35:14 AM »
Welcome, W. This is my Website and I'm 87...so it is definitely designed (by my son) for the computer-challenged. :) We ask all new members to go to our HomePage and under Read Me First to read the four posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to the Forum Agreement to be sure WWU is a fit. We're a monitored Website.

To get started, I suggest you read through the thread 'Speaking of FaceBook' by dedicatedmom. She is up against similar circumstances and I think what I just wrote there might help you.

There are so many of us here who have 'been there/done that'. Slowly (for me at least because I got stuck in injustice), we learn that we can't change anything because contrary to the data presented, it isn't about us. I hope you feel at home here and continue to share and contribute to our 'family.'
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline WWJD

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Re: Estrangement from Daughter
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2014, 04:28:54 PM »
Thanks, I will check that site out.

Offline Reihldream

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Re: Estrangement from Daughter
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2014, 11:48:26 AM »
I know exactly how you feel. My daughter left her father and brother and I five years ago. Every day it feels like the first day she left. I have reached out many times, to no avail. She doesn't respond. I wish I had answers for both of us, but I don't. Your post helped me realize for the 1st time that other people are going through this also.

Offline WWJD

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Re: Estrangement from Daughter
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2014, 11:42:33 AM »
Thanks for the reply.  It is of some comfort to know that you are not alone but there are times when it seems to hit home a little harder.  Thanksgiving weekend was one of those times because it was also my birthday.  All the family gathered with the exception of one daughter and her family.  Leading up to the weekend I had great difficulty dealing with this whole scene but thank goodness the rest of my family being together was wonderful, and I relished the time we spent together.  We were able to spend the weekend at our cottage and enjoy the beautiful colours and the lovely weather and the smell of the wood burning in the fireplace and turkey cooking in the oven.  Still after the fact it really would have been special to hear from my daughter and grandchildren.  I have to keep telling myself that it is her choice to not communicate with us and that I have done everything I can to find out why.  As time goes by it is becoming easier to accept but the hurt remains and I know that it to, will also diminish in time.  Time can be the great healer and along with my faith I know I will survive and the world will not stop.