Thank you, ladies! I already feel better reading your reponses. For a few days I thought maybe I was missing something and kept 2nd guessing myself. I totally agree that I need to continue setting boundaries and I will NOT discuss my SM/SS relationship with anyone other than DH and/or SS himself. Likewise, I will bite my tongue and sit on my hands when it comes to the GF/SS relationship – to date, I haven't gotten involved (proud of myself) and will continue NOT to be involved with that…DH is doing the same.. even though we have witnessed GF being very controlling. With her and I it’s like the pot (GF) calling the kettle (ME) black – BIG TIME.
Luise- I followed your advice and went to the posts on “Home.” Thank you! I do think this forum is a good fit for me. And yes, GF is
Not interested in me whatsoever. She’s a conversational narcissist and probably a borderline
actual narcissist. She constantly boasts about how mature she is for a 24YO.. and all I can do is smile and nod (secretly I chuckle internally..because I know it's not true). The conversation is ALWAYS about her. It makes me very sad that SS (a humble, kind person) has chosen her (at least for now), and honestly I am hoping this relationship ends, but she seems to have quite a hold over him so I need to keep the peace just in case this GF is around for years to come.
Stilllearning – I love the story about your aunt. My SS has HORRIBLE table manners despite my nagging him about it for YEARS. He still refuses to put his napkin in his lap… and I just know that
I’m getting the blame for this in the GF/SS apartment. LOL. I can just hear GF now, "Didn't your parents teach you ANYthing about table manners?" Sigh. Poor SS. (I never felt sorry for him until he started dating this girl.)
Lillycache – I was wondering the same thing, “Am I old fashioned?”….. I don’t think so… none of my friends (still in their 30s and 40s) with
successful marriages have ever confronted their in-laws about parenting style - unless of course the in-laws were intereferin with grandchildren - which is a different story. Even my brother, who found out 20 years into his marriage that his FIL had sexually abused his DW all through high school… my bro wanted to murder FIL (understandably).. but instead, he let DW handle it and confront her own demons. He stayed out of it on the advice of several therapists… and that was really the better road to take for their marriage.
Pooh – Yes.. please run, GF!!!!! LOL. That’s what I am secretly waiting and hoping for. He is still pretty lazy and unmotivated, but he’s getting better (something SHE takes complete credit for). I am hoping that he remains somewhat lazy – to the point that she just can’t take it anymore and runs! LOL!