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GD's Strange Behavior

Started by sannygranny, April 02, 2014, 09:23:12 PM

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Dear Friends,

I want to share what is happening to me because it is tearing me into pieces!  I babysat my GD until she was 3 1/2 years old and then I had to go back to work full-time.  The MIL took over the babysitting and my GD became very attached to her- so much so that now she is 5 1/2 years old and cries for her when she is on a rare visit to my house!  The MIL is vERY competitive with us and one-ups everything we do with our GD.  It is almost like she is the ONLY grandmother now and our GD doesn't even want to come for a vi :(sit!  We spoil her when she comes and have lots of fun but she rarely comes over and when she does, cries for the other grandmother.  IT hurts me so bad but our DS says she DOES enjoy us, etc. etc. but I cannot even  sleep tonight just thinking ab out how I miss babysitting her and what has happened to our once very close relationship.  The other grandmother seems to have won her victory. LAst Sunday both sents of GP's were invited to  our GD's preschool art show and our gD ignored us and cried for the other set embarrassing our DS and DIL. The MIL finally arrived and our GD ran over, hugged, kissed, and cried for her.  My DH and I stood there in awkward and stunned silence that you could cut with a knife.  :(  My heart is broken.  My connection with my GD seems broken for good. MY  DS and DIL are even building a house on the MIL's property this spring so there goes any chance our GD will even want to come visit us.    :'(


Welcome, SG. I can tell you are going through a tough time with your situation and I'm glad you found us. Please take a moment to read the pink highlighted items under Open Me First on the home page. We are a monitored site and ask this of all newbies to make sure the site is a good fit and we're all on the same page as far as policies are concerned, etc.

Wow, my heart is broken for you  :(  I don't have much to say other than that I suspect I may end up in a similar situation when my DS and DIL have children so I'm trying to prepare now. IMO, this is between your DS and his wife. It's unlikely he's out to purposely make you miserable; I'm guessing he's simply trying to keep peace in his family by doing what his wife (and her FOO) want him to do. It's not fair, but we mothers of sons don't seem to have the same right to pressure our DSs as do mothers of daughters, in many cases. In my situation, pressuring my DS & DIL would have been disastrous to our relationship so I keep quiet.

You will probably hear from a lot of GMs who are going through similar heartaches to yours. (((hugs)))
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb


Welcome.  I can so see how hurtful that is but I also want to assure you that she is still very young and you had her more her younger years, which they don't remember as much.  As she gets older, she will remember how much you guys love her too.  I had a favorite Grandmother simply because I spent more time with her and we had a special bond but I loved my other Grandmother just as much and I remember great times with her as well.  Enjoy the time you do get with her and give it some time.  I think for your own well-being you have to let go of the hurt if she does want to spend more time with the MIL.  Sometimes it just ends up that way and from what you wrote, it doesn't sound like DS or DIL are keeping her from you, it's just the situation of MIL keeping her and living closer to them soon.

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell


 :)   Hello Dear Friends,

I wanted to share a positive update on the situation I reported with my GD's behavior and the other GM. Things have changed drastically in a few short months. The other GM no longer wants to babysit my 2 adorable GD's and has other activities that fill her life. As a result, she has cancelled her babysitting favors at the last min  ute multiple times and alienated her BD and SIL, who both work and depend on her babysitting. My older GD now loudly protests going to the other GM's house because she "makes me watch TV all day and breaks all  her promises to me".  How quickly God works in a situation! My FT job does not allow me much paid time off to help with the babysitting, but I do what I can and my BH also helps.  When I watch my BGD's, I try to maintain a firm and loving experience and plan lots of fun, "free" activities to constantly keep things fresh and fun.  The moral of the story is this - trust God to undertake in your situation and He will do the very best for you and your family!