Wine and conversations about absent children don't mix!

[Kate]

Hi ladies, I hope that the holidays have been kind to you, and that where they have not, that you have been kind to yourselves.   BIL and his new partner came to stay for a few days and as partner is from a blessedly uncomplicated family asked in a kind way about my absent younger son.   Well, floods of tears! And the genie is still not back in the bottle a day later.  It is amazing how ones self control can evaporate after a couple of glasses of wine!

I know I am not alone in this and will recover.

Wishing you all a calm and peaceful new year.

[luise.volta]

K - Happy New Year! I don't like wine but I have been known to dissolve into tears to the dismay those around me. I think it's called being human. This is www.NotAlone.com in disguise. 

[Didi.lost]

Hi Kate

You are definetly not alone as i have had a pretty bad holiday also and the tears of hurt are still flowing here
today too.  I am sorry that we have to go through this but we are good people and don't deserve this at all.

My DD's other FOO are having fun on fb too saying don't worry this fam will always love you..... as if we don't.
Cruel and thoughtless drunks some of them.

These AC sure can get away with despicable behaviour can't they?  I don't drink except on the holidays a very little bit so I know what you mean about a few glasses.
Well we will survive Kate and we will find happiness again one day.  I'm sure of that.  We can make it happen.

Wishing you and all a Happy New Year also.

[Kate]

Thank you Louise and Didi.  It is a tough time for us, but I do remind myself that others have a worse time than I do.  A friend of mine lost her baby daughter to a drunk driver 21 years ago this Christmas and her grief is still palpable.  In comparison to that a son who doesn't want to know us but is otherwise Ok is bearable.

I will readjust my mindset - i have to, baby grandson arrives for a visit today and I need to be ready to rumble!

[DixieDarling]

Kate, I do hope you've had a fantastic day with your grandbaby. What joy they bring to a hurting heart. I know.
Kate and Didi both, I truly am sorry for the hurt you have and send you both warm thoughts and hugs. I know that is little comfort.
Surprise of all surprises I've had a really nice holiday thus far and I sure wasn't expecting it to be. DH is home from the hospital and holding his own.
Our newest and youngest DIL was so sweet to me. (Brace yourself) but she even HUGGED my neck for her gift and kept saying how much she loved it. And ladies that is the first thing in 2 years she hasn't refused or acted as if she could care less about. I think I'm still in shock. Must be her preg. hormones? LOL But I'll gladly take what I can get. Her bright and happy attitude even made the other children and the wives even more comfortable because she was kind and friendly.

[luise.volta]

DD - WOW! YAY! 

[Kate]

That is wonderful DD.  It sounds like things are improving for you.

My DIL (wife of elder son) is here with 10 month old GS for three days so I am in heaven.  My ES couldn't come as had to work over the break, and we couldn't go to them because I had to work too.  So wonderful DIL brought just tottering GS for a belated first Christmas with us. 

It doesn't negate the pain of absent younger son and granddaughter,  but it is easier to put that pain in a box when cudding, and chasing, the little perpetual motion machine that is GS.

[Pooh]

Bad combination.  Wine and a kind listener?     I agree with Luise.  We are all still human.  Doesn't matter if we wrap ourselves around a new life and we have dealt with the problems.  They still creep in from time to time.  I would start worrying about us when we no longer have feelings!

I'm glad you got to run after GS.  I have spent the last two weeks doing the same and the little booger has worn me flat out!

[Pen]

You never know when it'll hit ya 

Just when I think I've made great strides, someone's random remark will put me in tears. I'm a caring, loving human being, no shame in that.

[Kate]

Thank you! I had a truly lovely visit with GS.

Unfortunately it was marred by the news that ES and DILs marriage is under some stress. There are number of reasons, cultural differences, communication issues and not least their very active son who is constantly on the go and doesn't sleep much.

They are seeing a counsellor next week, but things are fraught at the moment. I think they both need to take a deep breath and listen to each other.

I am so sad for them and for a couple of days have had the old anxiety attacks,  a legacy of my dysfunctional past which really is an unwanted gift that just keeps on giving.

Just when you think you have got it all together....

[Pen]

That's what WWU is for...keep reading and posting, Kate (((hugs)))