2nd Christmas....NO TREE here

[Didi.lost]

Well it's that time of year again and I have NOT put up a Christmas tree again.  Someone is missing and GC are
not coming so I see no point.  It's hard to celebrate in this house.  We still have our son we love dearly and he
loves us and we are going there for Christmas Day to spend with him and his family.  New normal.  It's hard for him too.... to have no more sister around but that is how it is.  He won't contact her at all either. 

DD has been on FB ranting and raving still about how she has no family for Christmas but doesn't tell anyone she
is the one who hates us and can't stand to be around us.  Sometimes I look at her FB just to see how she is doing and I guess last time about a month ago, I accidentally hit the friend request button.  When she thought I was trying to be friends with her on fb she went balistic on there and outright spoke out to me there to stay away from her children and treat her daughter better who works for me in my company and then she called my employees scum.  She called her ex and his wife scum also for taking her son away and she said "you know it's not right"

I hate it that she airs all our business online and cannot stop her.  She's embarassing herself and humiliating me.
Can't stand it but this is what we have to live with for now and who knows how long.  Wish she would just stop
and leave us alone already.  How much do we have to tolerate from her?  It's been two years now.  We tried to get away from all the drama but there it is still. 
She got in touch with her dad's family and is going there for Christmas now and is so excited.  Good maybe she'll
be happy there and forget about us.  Not likely though. 

[luise.volta]

D - No tree here for other reasons; no space in my studio and issues regarding no place to store decorations. FB has taken many of us here down...curiosity and touchy buttons notwithstanding. We lurk there at our own risk and the risk is monumental. The price is too high and it can shift our focus from what we have to what we don't have. Hugs...

[Didi.lost]

So true Luise.  I know it's my own fault for looking at FB.  Guess I'm a stubborn sucker for punishment.  I really need to get a life now. 

[luise.volta]

Another quote that often fits is: 'I only have one enemy and she's wearing my shoes.' Sending love, D.

[Didi.lost]

 

[DixieDarling]

Luise, I've never heard that saying before. I've also never read a quote that describes me so perfectly either. Thanks for sharing that.

[DixieDarling]

Didi, I'm sorry for what your daughter is putting you thru. Reading your words and I could almost feel your sadness.
If I've read it once , I've read a thousand times of the damage FB does to families. 
When you live in a small town something like that can be worse. Because everyone knows each other so even people who aren't your friend on FB knows all about it.
I don't know how old your daughter is? But my guess she's old enough to know better. Shame on her!
I wish for you a nice Christmas and a very happy new year.

[luise.volta]

D - That's one of those old sayings I made up. 

[FAFE]

I generally put up 2 or more big trees, this year I've put a little one in the living room and a smaller one in the dining room - usually have a very big one in the DR, as well as in the sun room.  The one in the LR is decorated with all new stuff and a couple of little stockings that will have money for our great nephews, etc.  The one in the DR is decorated in my Christmas jewelry.  It looks good and I think I will do that from now on.  All of my children will be here on Thursday after Christmas and we'll celebrate on Fri night and again on Sat.  I have all their decorations in separate boxes and I intend to give the boxes to each of them to use on their own trees or to dispose of as they see fit.

I'm not doing this because I have problems with them - I just have too much stuff and I'm really going to start downsizing!  Hope we all have as Merry a Christmas we can, however we can!  We will probably be eating lunch at the Waffle House tomorrow and dinner with friends.  My thoughts will be with everyone here as we go forward.......

[luise.volta]

When I went to get my Christmas decorations out of my little storage locker here, I found it couldn't even put the key in the lock. It took days for me to come to grips with the fact that they were 'our' decorations. This is my first Christmas without my Val. Grieving has been a bumpy road because he 'left' years before he passed...and when he passed last February...he had no idea who I was and hadn't for ages. The getting out decorations somehow triggered closure for me. I live in one room, a studio unit, and so have chosen to get all new decorations. Not much needed to look festive and I have enjoyed the process. Finally, I feel like I have turned a page and am starting the new chapter.

[Stilllearning]

I remember how horrified I was when my Dad told me that he had a Christmas tree that he left decorated all year.  It is a small tree (18") and he hung it in the closet, lights ornaments and all, until he pulled it out for the season.  He was so proud that he just took it out of the bag, set it on the table, and his decorating was over.  I still have that tree and I pull it out very fondly.  The older I get, the closer I get to it being the only thing I pull out! 

[Pen]

Luise, that sounds like a good step forward. If it doesn't make you smile, don't hang on to it. I'll bet your place looks cozy and cheerful.

Stilllearning, I have a colleague who insists that she has a full-size, fully decorated, fake tree in a hall closet that she hauls out every year just like your dad did. I find I'm cutting out more and more Christmas "duties" every year, so I can see the appeal.

[Pooh]

Didi, I promise you, if she's ranting and raving like that on FB, people have already figured out....or are figuring out, it's her.  I have a couple of people that do that, and it doesn't take long to figure out how they are.  In the beginning, I was going, "Oh that's awful for her family to treat her that way."  A few weeks in, I was going, "No wonder her family treats her that way."

It gets old really quick when people use FB for their personal, air-your-laundry, rants.  I hid those two from my feed and the only people that enjoy them are those that are miserable as they are and as drama filled.

I know you wish she wouldn't do it, but I would be willing to bet that 99% people have already figured out you are not the person she's portraying.

[Didi.lost]

Thanks Pooh.  You make me feel better.  We are private people and she has aired all dirty laundry on there.  But
no one would have known anything about her life if she didn't start airing it.  She doesn't get it yet though and continues to play the victim in everything and curse everyone else that doesn't agree with her.
Those consequences are hers to deal with if she ever realizes what she is doing.  The rest of the family must
try to ignore it, we know.  Just hurts to hear the constant belittleing and name calling.  I will try in the new year
to make a resolution to get past all of this once and for all.

I love the idea of buying all new tree decorations.  I think I may try that next year. 
Thanks

[Pooh]

After figuring out how to wire up 11 sets of lights on my tree....hubs said, "After Christmas....I say we buy a pre-lit!"