March 28, 2024, 11:58:16 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


How do I get through shower and wedding?

Started by sjmom, August 06, 2012, 03:07:20 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Begonia

Pen:  Love this quote of yours!
You must have nice stuff. My DIL wouldn't want anything of mine, I'm sure  :D

My DIL would never stoop so low as to have any of my stuff either!!   >:(
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Pooh

Isn't that sad?  When I got my first place, if it wasn't for my Mother's, Brothers and thrift store hand-me-downs, I wouldn't have had anything.  My first coffee table was one of those telephone company's big round wooden spools that held the wire!  And my couch?  It was five, yard sale pillows up against the wall!  Ha ha ha...
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

Oh, the good ol' days. India-print bedspread or beaded room divider, anyone?
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Begonia

Pen:  I have that NOW!  Tee hee.  Seriously, I just put up some fabulous India coverlets to screen off a space in my basement and seriously I do have some funky ring things on my tiny office closet instead of a door.  Too funny!! 

And yes, our family has always handed down.  I still do that for DD and GK.  But my DS and DIL?  Nah.  DIL is an art teacher so their place is really lovely.  How she keeps a white couch perfect with little kids around is beyond me!! 
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Pooh

Oh yeah....pink beaded curtain between the living room and my bedroom.  I didn't have the India spread...I was all about the fake fur!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

frances

I have the same question, the rehearsal dinner is tonight wedding tomorrow. I am so worried and nervous,
please tell me what you learned and how you did?

wisewomanalso

Just curious - do your friends call you Mrs. so and so because certainly they do not call you mom.

It just seems really unfair, in my opinion, to have her call you Mrs......
And she's not comfortable calling you mom.  I would have liked if my mil had asked me to call her mom (not sure that I could but it would have been nice to think of her as a second mom). 

Over the years I started to refer to her as the name the grandkids call her.  But if it was a one on one with me and I was addressing her, I'd call her by her first name. 

As for the shower/ wedding... I agree that you should do your best to just smile and enjoy it and know that this is the mature thing to do.

It sounds like there are some other things going on - especially since your son said what he said up front of her not being your friend.  Would you be able to elaborate?


luise.volta

I like the concept of enjoying being asked...even if we decline.  :) I just got asked to Thanksgiving dinner three different places by those near and dear. I'm 86 years old and find large gathering tire me out. However, being asked brings joy to my heart. My ex-DIL is coming to my retirement center instead, to have dinner here with me...and is having her clan over the next day so she can do that. My cup runneth over!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

Frances, I'm sorry I haven't been here for a few days and missed reading your post. I hope all went well at the rehearsal and the wedding.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

frances

It went real well, I was surprised all the x's got a long and DS told me that there was going to be drinking at both the rehearsal and wedding and he was worried about my DH disapproval about drinking. So DH and I went to the rehearsal only stayed about 1hr DS waited to drink until after we left. The wedding was perfect and again DS waited to drink after we left, I thought that was neat. I am so glad it is over, STRESS.

DixieDarling

So happy for you Frances that all went smoothly.

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

That was a great compromise!  Glad it went well.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell