Getting the Silent Treatment from DD

[goldendays1]

It is really really not just hurtful but infuriating that our grown children treat us like the dirt on their shoes.  My husband's two are the limit.  I want to pick up the phone and say you ungrateful little you know whats!  Who do you think you are to treat your father as if he did you wrong?  He loved you, cared for you, clothed you, fed you, bought you within reason all that you needed for a happy childhood, he paid for your education all the way thru, he rejoiced at your weddings at the birth of your children and would lay down his life for you and you treat him thus.  How dare you turn your own children against him by telling them things that are not suitable for children of that age, adult matters to do with his divorcing their mother.  He had his reasons and it is certainly not for a four year old's ears.  I revered and respected my parents as did he.  You went out of your way to ensure your parents' happiness and to include them in all your family's celebrations.  You took their advice and shut up if it wasn't wanted.  If one of them was ill you would rush to their side.  We have created monsters in this current 30-40 yrs old generation.  Whatever they're called generation x, y I'm not sure.  Maybe it's the X generation X out your parents.  They did nothing for you as long as you have your iphone, computer, latest gadgets, all's good in your world, you are invincible you'll never get old and needy, you have it all, never mind the people that brought you into the world.

[luise.volta]

SH - Welcome and please change your member name to something short and simple, so you can be anonymous, if and when you want to be. We also require new members to go to our Homepage and under Open Me First...to read the three posts there for them. Especially the Forum Agreement...to be sure WWU is a fit for you. We're a monitored Website.

Most of us here have pretty reasonable expectations where our AC are concerned. For me at least, it was very hard to get that those expectations were mine and no one was responsible to meet them. Still, the healing I have experienced is directly related to my no longer having them. Others make their own choices and learn from them (or not)...whether we raised them or it looks more like they were raised by wolves. My eldest son, when he was around 13, started acting like he had sent for me from a catalogue having informed them of very specific requirements...none of which I apparently met. The fact that there was no Money Back Guarantee and I couldn't be exchanged was the bane of his existence and my "inferiority" was the cause of every negative issue he ever had. As an adult, his relationship with his dad was wonderful...and his dad had treated him with open contempt for his entire childhood. We can't make sense of the senseless. I gave it/him my best...and so did you. We get to find life beyond parenting. All of us do.

[luise.volta]

SH - Take a deep breath...get a cup of coffee or tea (mine is hot chocolate)...and know that this is the place to vent within reason. It isn't the place to generalize. Every generation has thousands of wonderful kids that turn into great adults. Our Webmaster, who created this site and maintains it pro bono, is an example. He's my youngest son. Why he is my good friend and his older brother saw me was the Wicked Witch of All Wicked Witches is a question that will never be answered...but/and they are not only from the same generation, they are from the same parents and the same home. Sending love...

[Arlen]

I so understand the need to vent goldendays, sigh!  The confusion, ambiguity, the just cutting off leaves one is such a state of flux,confusion, anger,frustration and pain, a rollercoaster of emotions. I think if I were just angry and hated her it would make it easier, but my AC is a confused unhappy woman. OUr son is a very sweet kind caring young man, and like luise said, same parents, same home, but for our daughter there is something about us, me, that she has deemed  warrants cutting off.
Rejection from a child you love dearly is like a stabbing pain in the heart and each day there are painful reminders that are like a thousand cuts jabbing and stabbing an already wounded heart.