March 28, 2024, 07:06:10 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


The story of my precious Granddaughter

Started by Pooh, May 20, 2010, 07:00:59 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Pooh

Thank you so much for the support and kind words to everyone.  It really means alot to me.

Nana, You didn't miss anything.  I had posted about my oldest son and DIL problems when I first joined in another section.  My oldest married a very insecure, manipulative woman, and now we have a very strained relationship.

Creme, Thank you so much.  We must have done something right even though it doesn't feel like it alot of times.  Thank you to your son for his service and I totally agree that when they are in certain lines of work, it tends to put things in perspective.  I also, can relate to you.  My Ex was a Police Officer and my current husband is a Police Officer (That is the only thing they have in common! Lol.)  And I work for 911.  So I know the stresses that they are under and have nothing but the upmost respect for their profession and the type of person it takes to do that job. 

Sounds like someone else has done a most excellent job!  (Pssst.....that would be you!)
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Faith

Dear Pooh, what an amazing story of courage and patience. I do hope your son is safe and that you are able to visit your DGD.
Why do some people have to be so nasty and vindictive. It seems they take unfair advantage of the court system. All too often it is the father's parents who lose out.
Wishing you my love. Faith xxx

Pooh

Thanks Faith. Unfortunately, the Mother is still refusing to let him see her when he's in, or let us see her.  So we haven't seen her now in 3ish years.  This will not be resolved until he can get to a stable place in the military so he can go back to court, or until he finishes his service.

She's doesn't have a problem cashing those checks he sends her every month though!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Faith

January 14, 2013, 08:26:39 AM #18 Last Edit: January 14, 2013, 08:41:15 AM by Pooh
Hi Pooh, Women like your GD's mother are so very vindictive. Don't they realise how beneficial a relationship with father and grandparents can be.
In England we have a saying "the law is an jackass" I am not sure if it means donkey or behind, but either one would fit.
Is there no place above the local court to take your case? In England it would be taken to the House of Lords. Do you have a sympathetic Congressman or Senator you could write to.
In England there have been campaigns called Fathers for Justice and another for Grandparents. The law did get changed regarding grandparents.
Over here, to get help, the best person to write to is the Queen. She refers problems to the minister in charge, The same thing happens if you write to the Prime Minister. I have done both in the past with good results.
How about writing to the President or his wife? It would be worthwhile making them aware of the injustice you and people in a similar position are suffering. They may not even know  the problem exists. They are both Lawyers and may come up with a new approach.
I was always told to get things done, you need to go right to the top. When the Law is so blatantly unfair, the people in charge should be made aware of it.
Your son being in the Army should add weight to your case.
These are just suggestions. America is a much bigger place than England. We don't have individual states like you. The laws are the same for the whole country, which includes Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.
I don't think you have anything to lose by writing a few letters to the right people. Start at the top and see what is said. Then try the next person down and so on.
I hope these ideas help dear Pooh. I am cheering you on all the way. Love Faith.

Pooh

The local court here will take care of it.  Getting his visitation back shouldn't be a problem.  The problem is the court would only set his visitation through the end of the first year because he was going into the military.  Because he doesn't have a permanent home and they move him around between bases and deployment, plus couldn't tell them when his leaves would be, they said he would have to come back to court yearly to set the next year's visitation based on where he is.

The problem is that they only hold court once a month, and he never knows until the last minute when he will be in and so far, it's not fallen in the right time to get into court because it takes two weeks beforehand to get on the docket.  So basically it's a timing issue.  We did find out after he went in, that he could appoint someone to do his visitation (us) by a military law on the books, but again, can't get him back in court to do it.

She wasn't very cooperative anyway, so her just being nice when he would call on leave to try to see her was out of the question.  She refused and then she changed her number where he couldn't call.

Right now, it's just a matter of him being able to get back to court.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell