March 28, 2024, 05:07:51 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Question????

Started by Faithlooksup, December 11, 2010, 08:08:02 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Faithlooksup

From your Heart, knowledge and experience's what makes a "Wise Woman?????  Thank You.....

seasage

Quote from: Faithlooksup on December 11, 2010, 08:08:02 AM
From your Heart, knowledge and experience's what makes a "Wise Woman?????

Give me a simpler question.  Perhaps, what am I looking for in a Wise Woman on this forum?

- Someone who no longer rants on about all the horrible things MIL/DIL has done, because she has moved past the hate stage.

- Someone who has acquired a little serenity in her life, because MIL/DIL no longer controls her.

- Someone who might even admit at times that there is some good in the offending MIL/DIL who brought her here.

- Someone who no longer plans ways to trick or trap MIL/DIL.

- Someone who is able to wait a few days when something triggers the old feelings, and thus doesn't get herself in trouble again by responding inappropriately.

- Someone who no longer feels the need to label MIL/DIL's actions with various psychological names or imbalances.

- Someone who has decided what is most important to her regarding her family relationships, and who consistently works in that direction.

I am not a wise woman.  I fail on more than one of the points above, but I am still trying. 


LaurieS

The woman you just described has already received her sainthood :)  she might be beyond being a wise woman

Emotional balance seems to be the key here and that is something that is most likely within our grasp.

Orly

Someone who realizes she doesn't have ALL the answers.
Someone who acknowledges her own failings and tries to remedy them.
Someone who can sincerely apologize for harm done by her and make an effort to correct it.
Someone who knows when to pull back and let things go.
Someone who can laugh at themselves. 
Someone who can watch a perceived train-wreck waiting to happen...and let it happen.  Sometimes it is a hard learning lesson that needs to be endured for growth to happen.
Someone who works on letting grudges die the fast death they need to. Or not even holding them in the first place.
Someone who is there when the need is dire.
Someone who knows money does not cure all ills.
Someone who waves cheerfully goodbye to their children in public and weeps quietly  in private.  Not everything needs to be worn on the sleeve.
Someone who lets their children feel safe enough to tell when there is a problem...without letting it fester after the telling.
Someone who tries to stand up for the 'right' thing, even if it puts them in the doghouse.

Women who realize we are all works in progress and forgives others their foibles as they hope theirs will be forgiven. 


Just a partial list from my pov.  And no, I am not going to point out the ones I am really working hard at. :)