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Told by DIL that I cannot stay at their home when their first child is born

Started by Mary Lee, June 12, 2013, 10:23:19 PM

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PoppyMillie

I hate to admit, but I dislike my future MIL. She visits uninvited, and when she does visit- it is not really a 'visit'- it is an white glove inspection. Even after hours of cleaning the house (while her precious son sits on the couch and watches me), she arrives and walks through the house pointing out things that need to be cleaned again. It is very stressful. I have talked to her about this and she says that 'she is trying to be helpful'.

I am sure that you are not like this. But DILs feel under pressure to make their home perfect, when the MIL is visiting. As the first priority in the MIL mind is the son and the grandchild and their welfare-including a clean house and well prepared food. (I know that my MIL doesn't care about me, and would throw me under a bus). So the last thing she wants/ feels like doing will be cooking/ cleaning for her MIL.

Elljaysee

My daughter-in-law told me the same thing.  I stayed at my daughter's apartment on an air mattress.  My son and DIL had the room, but they didn't want other people there then.

ruthmom

I could understand how this is hurtful.  Personally, I wanted my own mother to stay at a hotel.  I adore her and my MIL but after having a baby we needed our home as a family of three.   She may consider it a favor to you to have your own space as well...almost like a get away.  I had sooo many visitors that the thought of having someone staying with me was over the top stressful with a new baby...even if they just wanted to help.  Im sorry that as a paternal grandparent your experience is starting off painful.   Your son is learning his new role one that you are probably a good example for and that is to love his wife.