I just can't...

[luise.volta]

He's a winner, LC and so are you!  Sending love...

[Lillycache]

He's a winner, LC and so are you!  Sending love...

Thanks Louise..     BUT.. I raised that boy and I know him..  I love him to pieces.. believe me.   However, I am not naive enough to think he is not saying one thing to me... and quite another thing to his wife.    It would not surprise me in the least to learn that minutes after telling me he completely understands... he got off the phone and slammed me to her.   It keeps us both happy right?  AND it makes his life easier.    I'd be willing to bet that most husbands caught in the middle of a female battle are double agents trying to keep the peace on both sides.    That's why when I hear some say "My DH is in complete agreement with me and thinks is mother is______________(fill in the blank)..     I just laugh and think to myself..  "Yeah right!  He's got you pretty bamboozled too. huh.. wonder what he's saying to his mother about YOU"   lol!

[Lillycache]

At anyrate... I am grateful for my son, regardless.. and I am grateful he keeps bringing the kids to see me.. and that's all that matters.. I do not want to get myself reinvested in the drama.   Thanks to all... It would be ok to close this thread now.

[luise.volta]

A wiining Double Agent? 

[Evalyn]

Lillycache,
Best wishes to you and your DS and your GC. My view is that you did what felt comfortable for you. So it was the right decision. I hope you have a wonderful time when your DS visits with the GC. They are lucky to have such a kind considerate Grandmother.
Evalyn.

[Lillycache]

Lillycache,
Best wishes to you and your DS and your GC. My view is that you did what felt comfortable for you. So it was the right decision. I hope you have a wonderful time when your DS visits with the GC. They are lucky to have such a kind considerate Grandmother.
Evalyn.

Thanks, but the decision was not without it's pain.  Yesterday my DS posted some pics of the Communion on FB.  GD looked so cute.   I felt cheated that the situation is such that I cannot feel comfortable attending these family events.  I feel even more angry ad DIL and her FOO for making it this way.  It's really a no win situation.   I wish she had not even sent me the invitation leaving the decision up to me.  Even so.. I believe I made the right one. I could not have endured being around them.   Still.. I feel meloncholy about it.   

[Pooh]

I think you made the right decision.  I know that if I don't want to do something, I can be civil but I know I have no poker face and everyone would feel the tension no matter how hard I tried. 

[freespirit]

Maybe it wasn't the right time or place to reconcile. It might make you feel better if you simply never say never. ... Even if you have closed a door...you can leave a window open, just a wee bit. Nothing has to be final.

[Evalyn]

I understand the feeling of being deprived of the joy of your GD's first communion. The good thing is, you have a lovely photo to put in a frame.

You would probably have felt uncomfortable if you had gone. Your GD might have felt the tension between you and DIL. Or the tension from DIL's family.

Please don't waste a moment on regrets. Your decision was very carefully thought out. For you it felt right. Therefore, you won't have to worry about DIL or her family talking about you and opening old wounds.

Why not put it behind you and enjoy your DS and GC when they visit?.