March 29, 2024, 03:46:51 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


I don't know how to deal With this.

Started by nikncon, April 03, 2013, 12:28:03 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

nikncon

Hello friends.I got a phone call from DS this morning asking why I haven't called him in three weeks.Well!!! I told him that he sent me an email asking me not to call,send cards etc about two weeks ago .So that's why I haven't contacted him.DS said that the card that I sent didn't help.He is still going for councilling but I  don't think that the doctor he is seeing is helping him much.I suggested that DS try to get another psychiatrist.One that doesn't just try out different meds on him and sees him only once a month.DS agreed .I know that he loves me .I was thinking of calling some psychologists myself to see if I can get him into therapy. Psychologists charge $250 an hour and are not covered by DS's insurance.I would love to help DS find the help that  he needs.But he would probably be furious if I did.So I will not do anything except listen to him and keep in contact.Just thought that I would let you know what's going on.Not easy seeing him go through this.Hugs.

  Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

Didi.lost

Nik.  That must have been very hard for you.  I think you did all that you can for now.  At least he called you and is speaking to you.
Thats a positive.  Keep listening and be there for him when he needs you.  All the best to you.

nikncon

Thanks Didi.I will always be there for him and I pray that someone can help him have a normal life.Hugs.

  Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

luise.volta

That all sound like progress to me, Nik. He called and he listened to your suggestion. You listened and aren't going step in to rescue him. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

nikncon

Thanks Luise.I think that this is a small step but in a positive direction I hope.Thanks to all of your comments.I feel like family here. :-*

  Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

Pooh

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

nikncon


  Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

freespirit

Being strong can hurt,...but you can be  proud of yourself.
The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.
            -- Michel de Montaigne

nikncon

Thanks Freespirit.I will call DS on weekend to see how he is.That's the part that hurts because if he is down I don't know what to say .A parent is only as happy as his saddest child.

  Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

Keys Girl

Nik, I don't go along with the philosophy that your saddest child is the barometer of your happiness.

This quote always makes me realize where my happiness lies.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
Wayne Dyer

There are lots of articles about what to say or not say (which is probably more important) to someone who is depressed,
here's one of them http://nochnoch.com/2012/02/20/10-things-not-to-say-to-a-depressed-person-and-please-dont-ever-say-to-me-either/

Sometimes I think it's best to just list and say "I care about you and have a lot of confidence in you".

Good luck,
KG
"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown

luise.volta

Nik - My take is that my saddest child is not my reality. His sadness is his reality, his path, his lesson. I did my best and he entered into the adult world to take it from there. My job is done. I'm only as happy as my gratitude and joy say I am...and he isn't in charge of either one. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

nikncon

Thanks Keys Girl and Luise.I agree with you both.DS must find his own happiness.I did the best that I could in my circumstances.I am very lucky to be able to travel,go camping etc.You are both right.It just sucks that DS lost his DF and DB .Two talented men who could have done so much more with their lives.I will listen to DS and tell him that I care for him.It's the only thing that I can do for him at this point.Hugs.

  Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

fangle

Sorry to come in late, just wanted to wish you and your DS all the best, Nikncon! xo