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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


it's a small world after all

Started by stilltrying2010, January 29, 2013, 06:35:47 AM

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Pooh

Me and fangle will have to take a vacation day that day and stay in bed, with the covers over our heads!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

luise.volta

Isn't that the day everyone honors their Gramma?
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Elise


Pooh

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

confusedbyinlaws

Have you talked to your MIL about the facebook postings?   In my opinion if you ask someone not to post pictures of you or your children on facebook, those wishes should be respected.  I put pictures of my grandkids on facebook, as do my daughter and daughter-in-law and we are all ok with it.  But my BIL specifically asked not to have pictures of him or his family, so I wouldn't dream of doing that to him.  And my daughter and DIL like me to run the pictures of them personally by them before posting on facebook in case they are unflattering.  I think it's just important for people to communicate and respect each other's wishes about that.  I don't think it's an unreasonable request to ask someone not to post pictures of your family if you are not comfortable with it. 
You are very generous to allow your husband to invite his MIL on your vacation.  I hope she is not the type to control everything.  If so it might be a good idea for you and your husband to make plans daily for things you and your kids want to do and let MIL know what they are ahead of time, so that she doesn't try to decide what you are doing.
Good luck and I hope it's a wonderful trip for everyone!

confusedbyinlaws

I like what Pooh said:  "I also think the more I dread something ahead of time and imagine all the different things that could go wrong, the more apt I am to find fault with the itty bitty tiny things quickly.  It's almost like since I'm waiting for all the bad to happen, the smallest thing makes me go "See, I knew it!" "


I have done this a lot with my inlaws and this behavior on my part has really contributed to the escalating of my angry feelings toward them.

Pen

How true! I have done the same with my SM & DF, and I'm pretty sure my DIL has done so with me, too. If I choose "loving (or otherwise) detachment" instead of going in with a chip on my shoulder, I'm not apt to feel annoyance or anger so easily.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb