September 22, 2023, 02:33:14 PM


"Welcome to -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself

Started by woolovereyes, December 28, 2012, 03:25:25 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.



I will be traveling extensively for work for the next 3 months. In case the planes crash or something, I redid my will today and intentionally left out the son that ripped me off ( see kicked to the curb post ).  In the spirit of my New Years resolutions, one of which was to stop being "nice" and a "doormat" to that particular child. I must confess, I feel better for having left everything I own to my daughter and her child.

He got his "portion" when he ripped off my inheritance. Hope he's happy with it, cause the farm is worth WAY more than that was.. dumb fool.. and Now its all "legal" too.

New years resolution kept ! Yay, Go-me !


Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


Wool, it sounds like you made a decision that you feel good about and that's true to what you want for yourself.  Best wishes on your travels for work!
This too shall pass.  All is well.


Thanks ! .. sad as the situation is/ was...  I feel much better taking control of my future. He made his choice, now I have made mine, and I see no reason why the "dutiful" child should have to share 50/50   when he already GOT his, when he ripped me off. That being said? I am very happy to leave everything to her and her child.. she is good, and that baby is adorable, so I will focus on the people in my life that actually WANT to be part of my life, and be family.


We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell


Sounds like an  excellent plan. I hope your will has been tied up very clearly and shows that DS already had his share. I would hate to think there is any wriggle room for him to contest the will.
Love Faith xxx


My friend's attorney put in her will that anyone contesting it was disinherited. I'm serious!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


New here, but wanted to comment (I have the narcissistic dil situation that is common on this board.) If someone doesn't want to share life together, they shouldn't get to share in the proceeds in death. Glad you feel empowered! Good for a you!


Welcome, M. We ask all new members to go to our HomePage and under Read Me First, to read the posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to the Forum Agreement to be sure WWU is a fit. We're a monitored Website. Thanks.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


Welcome, ML! I was shocked to discover this DIL phenomenon. I had no idea until it happened to our family. And I agree about not sharing the benefits. My DIL is pretty sure we're not in the financial situation to leave DS & her much of anything, so maybe that's why she's not kissing up. She got what she wanted from us before the wedding. Once the ink was dry she was done, lol.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb


My husband died in July, my stepson came and helped himself to my husband's guitar, gold necklace and bracelet. within days. Later he came and asked for his rings. I had been married to my husband for 28 years and he left everything to me in his will. At first, I was grieving so much for my husband, I didn't give the taking of the gold much thought. I scraped together enough money to pay for the funeral myself. My DD helped with the flowers and organisation. Because of that, youngest DD (I have two) stopped speaking to me. At the funeral, Stepson made a real exhibition of himself, crying loudly, pushed me away when I put my hand on his elbow, sat on the other side of the church away from my family.
After five months, I found myself feeling deep resentment about my stepson taking the gold, I didn't mind him having the heavy gold necklace as I knew he would wear it, but I really, really want the bracelet. He took my DH's guitar as well. It is only the bracelet I mind so much about. I can't stop thinking about it and it is driving me crazy. Please can anyone help me get rid of this obsession? Asking for it back, brought forth a tirade of personal abuse. Not printable here. I just want peace of mind and to be able to move on. My DH died of cancer 5 weeks after diagnosis. I nursed him at home as I had promised to do. Stepson appeared the last few days and kept weeping all over DH. For 10 years up until last year, he didn't speak to DH.

I just don't know what to do. Thank you in advance. Evalyn.


What a sad time. My heart goes out to you, E.

For me, the unkindnesses I have had to experience at the hands of others have always been really hard to get through because I'm pretty thin-skinned. The only thing that's worked for me in getting on with my life is the gratitude that I have one. I found myself focusing on the past and forfeiting the present. Others haven't changed but I have and so my life has. Sending hugs...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


I have a lot of photos of my DH, wearing the bracelet, I bought it for him and he loved it. He wore it all the time until he was too thin and ill to have it on.  Stepson even went to the undertakers, to try and get the wedding ring and gold half sovereign ring I had bought him. Even when he was on speaking terms with his father, he rarely came to see him. DH had to make the first move. SS has always been very materialistic. We never did get on very well, as our outlook on life was totally different. My DH always had to tread carefully with him.
What does hurt is the way he suddenly made friends with my youngest daughter and her three daughters. They barely spoke to me at the funeral.  I know he says unkind things about people, in an attempt to be funny.  He is unable to keep a relationship going for long and he is 39 now and gay. He said I didn't give him any support when DH died. As he wasn't around much during the 5 weeks leading up to DH's death, I feel it was unfair.
He accused oldest DD of not being around until the day DH died. She was in contact daily, Helped organise the undertaker and the funeral. She really helped. Since then she has been in touch every day. I would have been very alone without her. Her daughter, my GD has been loving and caring too. The other DD has disappeared over the horizon. Apparently because I insisted on remaining close to oldest DD. I just can't understand people who behave like this.
Sorry for going on. Thank you for listening.


One of my strongest rules is 'Don't try to make sense of the senseless'. It has helped me turn a lot of tough corners.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama