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Wish me luck everyone!

Started by Scoop, October 05, 2012, 07:17:29 AM

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Scoop

We're heading out to the IL's for Thanksgiving weekend tonight.  Wish me luck & PATIENCE, I'm afraid I'm going to need it.

I can't even ask for advice on how to respond to particular situations, because my MIL always surprises me with the baloney she comes up with.

Here are my wishes for this weekend:

1 - first and foremost, that DD has a Happy Birthday
2 - that the IL's get her an age / interest / size appropriate present
3 - that MIL respects that DD specifically requested a pumpkin pie for her birthday "cake"
4 - that we spend lots of time with SIL, BIL & the DN's
5 - that MIL doesn't give us an anniversary present, nor a belated birthday present for me

elsieshaye

Good luck, Scoop.  I hope it's a peaceful weekend and goes smoothly.

I apologize for not remembering, but what is the issue with your MIL and gifts? 
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Doe

Here's to a good weekend and remembering that sometimes the best response is no response at all!


Scoop

Quote from: elsieshaye on October 05, 2012, 07:33:34 AM
Good luck, Scoop.  I hope it's a peaceful weekend and goes smoothly.

I apologize for not remembering, but what is the issue with your MIL and gifts?

Thanks Elsieshaye.

I had a whole list of present 'grudges' typed up, and it made me remember that my MIL is not evil, just clueless. She has definite narcissistic tendencies and thinks that everyone likes what SHE likes.  And it's not personal, because she can't manage to give ANYONE (but herself) good gifts.

As for whether she uses my birthday gift as a weapon on me, well, it's on her conscience, not mine.

pam1

Good luck, Scoop.  And Happy Thanksgiving!
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Pen

May all your wishes come true :) Your DD is a girl after my own heart - I totally prefer pumpkin pie over birthday cake!

Lucky you, getting Thanksgiving over with. Think of all your pals south of the border who still have it looming ahead, lol.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

We're walking the walk with you, Scoop. You listed wishes, not expectations and that feels healthy to me. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

nikncon

Good luck Sco :)op.Happy Thanksgiving.I'm from Ontario so getting the turkey ready .

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nikncon


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elsieshaye

Quote from: Scoop on October 05, 2012, 08:49:16 AMAs for whether she uses my birthday gift as a weapon on me, well, it's on her conscience, not mine.

I really like that approach, Scoop.
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Pooh

Just now catching up.  I hope everything went well and that you had a nice visit.  Happy Birthday DD!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Scoop

Well, we're back home and we actually had an OK weekend (shocking, I know!)

It actually started off all wrong.  When I got home from work, the dog pooped and then was sick in her crate - it was disgusting!  Then in the car on the way to the IL's, DH passed another car on a double-solid line.  I was FURIOUS - seriously, over the top FURIOUS.  I waited until DD was asleep and then I 'told' him what-for, through clenched teeth.  You don't have to worry when I'm yelling, but when I'm talking quietly, through clenched teeth - WATCH OUT.  It brought up the fact that here I am, dreading the visit to his family, and it's in HIS power to make it easier, but what does he do?  A bone-head move like that, making me shakingly upset before we even get there.  (For the record, my education is civil engineering, I took the highway design course, I KNOW that the engineers who designed the highway, put the solid lines there for a reason - SAFETY.  If the line is solid, it means you can't see oncoming traffic.  For a double-solid, it means that oncoming traffic can't see you either.)

The good part of the weekend was that A) MIL did in fact give me a 'belated' birthday gift - it appeared to be from her 'stash' of 'extra' gifts, but I didn't care, I was happy to get it and I wore it all weekend.  And B) she cooked her turkey last week, but kept some out for me, because she knows that I like turkey on toast for breakfast.  THAT really touched me.  She's never remembered any of my favourites before.  I made a big fuss every morning about how lucky I was to get 3 days of turkey on toast for breakfast instead of just one.

The bad part was that MIL did not have patience with DD and other DGD.  They were just being squealing girls and MIL complained that they were too loud.  Instead of letting them play downstairs and the grown ups staying upstairs, MIL went downstairs to make a phone call!  On the cordless phone!

Unfortunately, it stressed DH out and he was 'hard' on DD, to get her to calm down and she ended up crying on her birthday over it.

The best part was when I took the kids to the park and BIL and DN showed up, he sat next to me and said "So ... is the MIL in a good mood today?"  And I realized that it wasn't just me.

It's over, it wasn't bad amd I'm considering another visit before Christmas, because DH's Grandma isn't well, and it might be nice to visit her 'one last time'.

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

Scoop, good job! I'm glad you are home safe and sound, and that your weekend wasn't as awful as you thought it might be.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

fruitlover