Are family vacations ever fun?

[Smilesback@u]

I didn't grow up seeing my grandparents often at all, let alone on a *vacation*.  So I don't really know if family vacations with GP are all that fun for anyone?  My parents didn't take us on vacations at all as we were a military family.  Our vacation was driving coast-to-coast to the next duty station.  We would be seeing the inside of motels, play in that pool, watch the car plates and roadsigns and eat out at restaurants.  I never even knew about national parks, or thought about having holidays with relatives.  We hardly had holidays with Dad home.  I didn't know any way of life to be different really, so I didn't think anything of it growing up.  I knew Mom was sad about missing Dad and her family - but he was gone so much, I really didn't even know my Dad or relatives.  When I married I planned things to do with family on holidays and did get a vacation but worked full time so didn't have all that much time off.  We were the typical nuclear family when I was growing up and I carried that on raising my family but I would have liked doing more family stuff together.  Sometimes I think that my problem with my DS/DIL might be more about this, that her culture is that life is ALL about the family.  What do you think about family vacations? 

[Pen]

I have fond memories of visits from and to my GPs. Most of the time we traded off as to who traveled and who entertained. Occasionally we'd all meet halfway and then drive to a vacation spot. I loved hanging out w/everyone, listening in when the adults were reminiscing about the old days or talking about books, cooking, politics, farming, art, the weather, etc. I also enjoyed trips with my immediate family very much. My Ps taught us about geography, geology, history, etc as we explored new places.

I had no reason to think things would be completely different when I married and had kids, or when my kids married - but boy was I wrong. My DIL comes from a culture where her family is all-important but her DH's is not. They take at least one vacation together every year which uses up all of DS's vacation time/travel budget. We've had one short vacation with them (DH family mini-reunion) since they were married. I thoroughly enjoyed it. SM & DF vacation with SM's AC & GC every year, but we're not invited.

To answer your question, I think I'd enjoy a big, rollicking family vacation that includes everyone, but I haven't experienced it much as a mother or MIL...so maybe it's just a ridiculous fantasy. Perhaps it would suck.

[Doe]

Lordy - our family vacations were mostly driving several hundred miles with 4 kids in the car, no air conditioning and a father who insisted we pretty much drive straight through to get to conventions.  My mom would drive us to GP, drop us off and come back a week later.  Dad would drive the 3hr trip, stay a couple of hours and come back the same day once a year.

I drove my kids to see my Dad - he flies over me to see my siblings but won't stop here. 

lol - not your Norman Rockwell family image.  I didn't really have any expectations with my AC other than that we would see each other some.

[Smilesback@u]

Pen - Your memories sound lovely and gives me great ideas.  I love my GD and after we retire, and as they are older, they are welcome to visit us and stay.  We will consider that a vacation with them.  And if DS/DIL want, they can come too or not.  We can teach them the natural history of our area and explore together.  You sound disappointed to not be creating those types of memories as a GP.  There is only so much time for working families to get together which makes it really tough on time and money.  I have heard the old adage that a man grows up and takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all your life.  Not everybody's daughter wants to spend time with her family after she's married too.  It sounds like you didn't vacation much either -- maybe it sounds better than it is?  I wonder?   

Doe - no not Norman Rockwell for sure! Thanks for that!   

[luise.volta]

Our family vacations started as soon as school was out and lasted until it started again. We had a log cabin at Sand Lake in the Huron National Forest in Michigan. My dad batched it and came up on weekends because he was the world's most wonderful dad and my mother read Indian lore to us (and out Friends) every evening using a kerosene lamp.) Oh, watching the fire crackling in the fireplace...looking down from the loft...and the rain on the roof!

[Grammie]

We went on several family vacations when our boys were living with us and we loved every minute of it.  DH traveled a lot and racked up a lot of FF miles. We would cash them in and fly as far away as possible.  We saw several National parks and even did a white water rafting vacation.  Last year we took a mini vaca to visit family and YS flew in to meet us and we had so much fun.  That's another reason this situation with OS is so baffling.  We were always a close family and did so much together. 

[Smilesback@u]

luise - now those ARE even better than NR! 

Grammie - hope there is some comfort in knowing not everyone gets to do vacations with family as much as you did with your family. 

[Grammie]

Smiles, I hope that I didn't sound like a bragger.  Most of my posts are not of happy times and frankly it was nice to post about such wonderful memories.  We were very fortunate that we could do vacations on a budget or we would not have been able to go either.  Many were in a tent sleeping on the ground and ones that required a flight didn't cost us anything other than the times we lost when DH was gone traveling with his job. Vacations were a big focus for us because we felt that relaxing together time was very important to keep our family strong and loving. So much for that theory.

[luise.volta]

G -  I felt that way, too. Nice to have something positive to report. And I was smiling as I remembered... 

[Smilesback@u]

G - I didn't take it as you were bragging at all...but I know you miss what you had. 

[Smilesback@u]

I am happy for your smiles luise 

[Pen]

We did go on lots of wonderful (low budget but packed w/fun experiences) vacations with just our kids when they were growing up, but not with extended family. DH & I had both lost our DMs, & when our DFs remarried our SMs weren't keen on having adult stepchildren or GC around. We visited them once or twice, but didn't vacation with them. My dad & SM still vacation at least once a year w/her AC & GC, but we've never been invited. At least I have great memories of the vacations DH & I took w/our kids! Wouldn't trade those for anything

 

[Smilesback@u]

Nice memories to hold on to Pen.  I am a SM and plan vacations/holidays with everybody.  I think there is a repeating pattern with some people who do not open up enough to include others.  Small world, huh, in more ways than one 

[Lillycache]

I never once had a family vacation with my parents.  Dad was a roofer, and worked all summer because he got little work in the winter. The vacations I remember were with my maternal grandmother.  SHe took me to Niagra Falls and NYC when I was 8 years old.  And then to Florida when I was 13.  She and I went to the Wisconsin Dells a few times.  Those were wonderful trips and I adored her.

[herbalescapes]

I think extended family vacations are like a lot of extended family things: sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.  There's nothing wrong with not vacationing with your AC and GC.  Growing up my parents took us on an annual vacation until high school.  Only one of those involved extended family (a set of cousins and one GP).  I think that went fine, but I was 6 at the time and wouldn't have noticed a lot of adult tension.  I got to eat ice cream every day, so what could have been wrong??!!!!

The first few years of marriage we lived a bazillion miles from all family.  We weren't in a vacation hot spot, but we were relatively near many good vacation destinations, so we had family visit then we'd all travel for a long weekend or a week.  Nothing terrible happened on these trips, but it made me realize that I am not tempermentally suited to vacationing with any relatives - blood or IL.  It's nothing wrong with me or them, just personality differences.  We travel to visit family, but I don't think of that as vacationing with them.  They are on their home turf (or we are on ours if anyone visits us) and that just gives me different expectations.