back to her old tricks

[mywebb]

Its so hard when grandchildren are in the mix, it makes you feel helpless! i wonder if your daughter would let your grandaughter stay with you during this unstable period( one of many i,m sure). i understand the pain of being helpless the kids involved get a choice in these matters. your daughters relationship with this bum is doomed to fail eventually i hope its soon for you so that your grandchild gets a better deal and so do you.

[firelight]

I ended up having my GD tonight. I no sooner than typed the last word in a post on WW and my DD called.  My DD and SIL will be going down to social services early tomorrow a.m. on their bicycles.  They had no food in the house tonight.  Of course, the few bucks they scraped up from bottles/cans went to a little tobacco and I think an order of fries from across the road.  I remain scratching my head. 

Took my DD to get milk for GD on her WIC and I bought diapers and brought GD to my home.  SIL's aunt would have taken her but she just moved and is exhausted and very busy.  Thought I'd give everyone a break for the night (except me), but little GD so wanted to come with me and kept saying "Gamma!  Gamma!" so what could I do....of course she can come with Gamma if she wants to.   So much for stepping back and taking a break. 

mywebb, I am going to offer it once again about taking GD.  With my SIL's aunt, we may be able to swing it.  I do work 12 hr shifts that usually last much longer so it would be hard for me to take her on those days I work.  I'm going to have to talk to the aunt where they are staying to feel her out.  She shared having GD with me when the scare pair went in to rehab.  Between me, SIL's aunt and DD/SIL, that is where she is anyway. 

My SIL is supposedly going to look a few places for work tomorrow....blah blah blah.  He should have started that search 2 1/2 yrs ago when he lost his job and unemployment ran out 1 1/2 yrs ago.  It's all a broken record. 

luise, I wish it didn't take so long for me to learn to accept the ugliness of what my DD has accepted as "normal".  She wasn't raised this way and I have no idea why she has made these life choices.  I know they're her very own choices though.    I erased a bunch of stuff I wanted to post  here because it's too long and I began to bore myself with the repetetiveness of the writing..... more blah blah blah and same ole same ole.  And it tires me out anymore.  Maybe that's part of finally getting to the point of not trying to intervene....just plain exhaustion from trying to help folks who aren't trying to help themselves. 

I have decided that if DD/SIL get their ER housing, they can take what they can fit out of my basement (I've also been their storage unit during all this nonsense).  What is left will then be taken to a real live storage unit even if I have to pay for the moving truck and 1 mos (only) storage rent.  I plan to take my DD and SIL to the storage unit and it can be in their names....then when they don't pay their bill, they (storage unit company) can do whatever it is they do to rid themselves of the baggage.  I want my basement back and be done with this tomfoolery. 

Thanks for listening everyone.   

[Didi.lost]

Oh firelight so sorry you have to go thru all this.  Thank god your gc has you in her life.  I know what a sacrifice it is for you to have to work and have to deal with all this on top of it.

At least I had my ex SIL to take custody of my gs from my DD. 

You don't have that but at least you have the aunt.  That should help.  I hope you two can take care of that sweet GC and your DD takes care of her business now and lets you get some peace away from this craziness.

I pray your situation gets better and you can take care of yourself.

Better days ahead hopefully.  Good for you for taking your basement back.  Let the adults take care of themselves. 

Sending support and lots of love

[SCW]

Firelight, I know you have made some tough decisions of late, and I am sure you have made them with GC and yourself in mind.
It is a scary thought to have to let our AC live life as they will.  We can feel so helpless.

Remember that you have no responsibility in what they do with their lives, you did not make that choice to take the first drug/drink, or not to get that job.  They ARE adults, if you cannot force them into rehab, you cannot force them to live anywhere, or get a job.

Bless you for taking GC, I was heartbroken when you said they bought smokes and a fry.  I am glad your GC got to eat decent food last night.  Malnourishment can affect the way her young brain develops.  I hope you can somehow get your DD to understand this.  That 5 bucks could have gotten a pound of hamburger.   

Hang in there, keep up your strength.

[JaneF]

Wow is all I can think to say.  Your post sounds eerily familiar, as in been there and done that.  Yes it is hard to step back when there are GC involved.  If there were no kids in the mix I would also tell my DD ta ta...you are on your own, have a nice life!  lol  They boggle my mind with the stupid choices they make, and what the consider "normal".  Last red cent you have and the first thing you buy is tobacco and fast food french fries...duh.  I would think cheapest loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter would have been a better option!  At least it's nutritious and would lst a few days perhaps.  Glad your GC got to be with you in a better environment for a while.  Blessings to you.

[firelight]

Thank you all. 

[firelight]

Janef, I know, right?!

[Pooh]

Yes, things like that make me so angry in the choices people make.  What happened to priorities?  Food over tobacco when you are hungry and even more so when you have a hungry child?  I'm a smoker and that one is still a no brainer to me.

Bless you firelight...you keep hanging in there.  You are doing great!