January 24, 2021, 02:11:36 am


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Not bonding with GC

Started by Grieving, July 17, 2012, 06:52:01 am

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For me, personally, extracting hugs and kisses from unwilling kids has never been the "hill I want to die on." 

For me, it heightens the rejection if the parent is chivvying the kid, and the kid is protesting. And then the parent is making a huge production about it, and the kid is kind of cringing away  or stiffening or ducking away from the kiss.  And then the parent is apologizing, and everyone else is looking on, of course.  Very uncomfortable all around.

On the whole, I'd rather get a high five or a blown kiss.

I do think that it's good for parents to insist that kids greet adults and make eye contact.  Part of it is showing respect to others, but it's mostly about instilling self-confidence in the kid.


My understanding too is that this is a place to vent.  Just because a person vents about a situation does not mean that they voiced an opinion to the person they disagreed with.  I know myself that I may have complained to DH or on this thread about DSs parenting styles but I did not tell DS that I disagreed.  I did however tell my GS to leave the TV and light switches alone.  They were living in my home and DS was switching them off and on repeatedly.  If the parents won't stop the activity then I will say something.  The only other time was in regard to GDs bangs.  DIL refused to cut them or clip them back.  She claimed the child pulled out hair clips.  They were so long that they hung straight down over her eyes below her mouth.  Granted her hair is fine and thin but she looked like Cousin It. I fed her a PB&J sandwich and she got PB in her hair when she bit the sandwich as she pushed the ends of her bangs in her mouth.  She was 20 months old.  I told DS that she really needed her hair cut and he said that DW refused.  DS would not challenge DWs decisions no matter how ridiculous they were.  The next time I babysat I bought soft hair clips and pulled her hair back away from her face.  She never touched the clips and they stayed in all day. When she went home that evening she was still wearing the clips.  A few days later DIL told me that the child pulled the clips out as soon as she got home.  Now can anyone honestly say that I'm the unreasonable person in this family? 
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.   
~ Denis Waitley ~


WWU can be used to vent in small doses, but it's not it's sole purpose.  It is a place to encourage healing, stop the blame game and take back our lives.  That is the real purpose of WWU.

With that said, I think this thread has run its course.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift