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DS almost in tears....

Started by themuffin, June 25, 2012, 07:19:56 AM

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Keys Girl

Muffin, sorry for the late response, I'm behind on everything because of computer problems.

Wow....what a trying set of circumstances, It think what you are doing by pulling back from your FDIL is smart and I hope that things settle down one way or another in the near future.

KG
"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown

themuffin

Thanks Keysgirls- DS called me a little while ago.  He had a question about medication and wanted me to research it.  I asked him how he was and how was FDIL and baby.  He said they were fine but the baby was "cluster feeding".  Never heard of it but did a little resarch.  Means she's wanted to eat all the time and is fussy.  It's perfectly normal, but very frustrating.  I hope that he and FDIL are working together to keep each other sane. 

Thanks again.

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Pen

Thinking of you, Muffin. I hope everything calms down soon. Take care :)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

themuffin

Thanks Pen.   ;D  Me too!!!  I just want us all to be happy!  All of us...even FDIL.

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enorton

Sooo sorry. Going through kind of the same thing. Isn't it a shame there is so much jealousy that they are too selfish to even think about who they are tryly hurting? The children deprived of grandma.

luise.volta

EN - Welcome aboard. I hope you find this community helpful.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

themuffin

Thank you Enorton.  I'm sorry that you are going thru something similar.  They don't understand who that they are hurting the children as well as us.  Let's hope that time will help.  Hugs


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Beth 2011

Hi Muffin,

It is good that you are still communicating with your DS.  Just concentrate on that and keep on keeping on. 

themuffin

Thanks Beth, I agree.  Although my DS have said and shown that he wants his FOO in his life and his DD's life, DH and I have decided to do just what you said....Keep on keeping on.  We feel that tryng to be involved in his life and the the baby's right now would be destructive to his relationship with FDIL.  FDIL seems to think that I have some kind of powerful control over DS.  I only text DS twice a month just to check on him and let him know I love him.  Sometimes he calls me for various reasons, but we are in no way close enough for FDIL to feel I'm powerful or threatened by our relationship. 

In her defense DS led her to believe that I was this doting, over protective mother who loved him so much that I have a hard time letting him go.

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Lillycache

Quote from: themuffin on July 06, 2012, 06:31:34 AM
Thanks Beth, I agree.  Although my DS have said and shown that he wants his FOO in his life and his DD's life, DH and I have decided to do just what you said....Keep on keeping on.  We feel that tryng to be involved in his life and the the baby's right now would be destructive to his relationship with FDIL.  FDIL seems to think that I have some kind of powerful control over DS.  I only text DS twice a month just to check on him and let him know I love him.  Sometimes he calls me for various reasons, but we are in no way close enough for FDIL to feel I'm powerful or threatened by our relationship. 

In her defense DS led her to believe that I was this doting, over protective mother who loved him so much that I have a hard time letting him go.

Yes.. you have to wonder what part our DSs have played in our DILs perception of us.   What cockamaymee stories have been told over pillow talk.  I know that my DIL resented my DS calling me for any advise or opinions.  I know this because I could here her in the background.  I also know that by her own admission, she talks to her mother once or sometimes twice a day.   I have no idea why what she does is normal and acceptable and what my DS does.. or did, was abnormal.  But like what Louise often says... you can't make sense out of nonsense.. or something like that.. 

themuffin

 :) LOL Lillycache! ;D  That is so true!!! My DS has told quite a few cockamaymee stories.  I think he told them to be able to get to the point of pillow talk, if you know what mean.  Once he got started he just couldn't stop.  And believe you me, DS has told some doozies about me, my DH and his, what I know to be dysfunctional, family!  :o

FDIl has quite a few stories as well, so I imgaine that DS thought he was comforting her by telling a few of his own....even if he had to make them up. 

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