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Gmom of 3.5 grands in time out....again!

Started by Footloose, May 12, 2012, 02:18:59 PM

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Footloose


Pen

IMO the scrapbook shouldn't be whiny or needy or focused on the negative; no young adult is going to want to read that stuff, for sure.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Footloose

Hi friends with nutty families:)

I am now a level 2, certified SCUBA diver and had a blast this weekend in Ginny Springs at High Springs, Fl and completed 6 dives!  My homemade prosth fins worked beautifully!  The ppl and place was outstanding and I made new friends.  Hubby and I will be going to the    North GA mtns over the holiday weekend coming up.   We have friends who just bought a log cabin and we will spend the time having fun and kayaking the rivers w/ JoJo my wonder doggie:) http://www.ginniespringsoutdoors.com/

The latest news on my time out from my son:
I too have shut the door!  My son once said that I act like he owes me for raising him for 19 yrs and beyond.  I never defended myself during the interrogation as I knew my defense would make it worse.  So I shaddap! Suffering in silence becomes habit!  A bad one for the sufferer and one we must break.

Now I know the correct reply.  "YES, you do owe me three things, love, respect and inclusion!  just as I owe these things to my other family, friends and future friends!  It is simply the Golden Rule, remember we all learned this in preschool and kindergarten?!

My heart is permanently guarded against hurt from others so I will be very careful with folks who wish to harm and disrespect.  That INCLUDES family too.  I left a man who loved me so but there was too much anger and control in him.  Why would I take it from my only child and his wife?!  Love does make you nutz but I am getting healthy!  I feel liberated now.  Completely untethered.  Free at LAST! 

Bless you, my sisters!

Pen

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Footloose

Hi Ladies,  Just an update as to how things are going in my growth towards being a mom no more.

Time out is now going on 4 mos and new GD was probably born by now as she was due on 6/15 as the finale to complete the new family at 3 GS and one GD with the eldest being 6. Yes lots of kids in a short marriage.  The eldest was from her prior marriage and my son adopted him and I did as well as soon as I met the little cherub. He was 15mos when they married.  The remainder of their brood came w/i 4 years.

The last month has been the hardest to bear for me w/o news of the birth or any contact what so ever.  I have been deeply depresses at times when I cannot stop crying and can hardly leave the house.  I was at a check up appointment at my Internist last week and she was worried about my emotional state, family history and the issues w/ my son. 

She recommends that I go see a PHD to be sure I am on even keel as far as my brain chemicals are concerned.  Time to find out just what kinda crazy i am to allow this kind of pain.  It is me after all that chooses to let this bother me.  Got an appt this week....ug!

i AM ALSO GOING TO THE FITNESS CTR 3 TIMES A WEEK AND HAVE HAD 3 CONSULTS WITH A TRAINER...sorry for the dang caps!  I feel better this week and hope I can continue on a good path on wellness from the inside out:)

Busy is good for me but not enough.  It's when I have time on my hands that I let things get to me.  Little by little, I will RECOVER!  I have plenty of great people in my life to be happy about and I am a good person with so many blessings.   

Hugs!

FAFE


Smilesback@u

FL, I am so sorry for your pain.  I can imagine that is how I would feel, the deep hurt on missing new baby's arrival.  Some families are apart, at a distance for other reasons and miss out too.  I have felt your pain, being excluded and it really hurts a long time.  To get through my pain, I sought out and received really good counseling.  It was so very helpful to have someone who took the time to empathize and understand my pain.  She helped me move on because there is more in life than pain.  I found I could create better relationships than what my family offered.  I am still learning how to do that -- even on WWU.  I also learned communication tools too that I use everyday so I am not blindsided and feel so helpless.  So counseling was worth every penny to me!  Hope you find someone really good, if the first one is not a good fit, go find another one.  Ask around for recommendations too.  Keep going, sending strength, it will get better.   

Pen

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb