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I dreamed that my new GD was born but i'm still in Granny Time Out

Started by Footloose, June 11, 2012, 09:37:47 AM

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Footloose

I dreamed again last night that my new GD was born.  I was actually at the hospital and my DIL looked very tired and ill but she proudly handed me the squirmy lil life who had a lot of dark hair on her head  and a big smile on her face.  <3 mmmmmmmmmmm!

That was all i remember after I woke up.  Well, you can imagine that my wheels are a turning ...AGAIN!  I even called the hospital where the last GS was born to see if she was in a room.  Nope, not yet and maybe wrong hospital. I really, really want to call.  Remember my son's last words to me were, "don't make me get a retraining order!"

My past and current behavior would never warrant a retraining order.  Heck,  all I have done is call or email and that has completely stopped for 6 weeks!   It was his way of slamming the door and keeping me at bay.  I relented and have not tried to contact him or DIL since.  3 mos and counting since I had a covo w/ DS/DIL or seen my DARLING grandsons.

I really want to call! Should i?  Prob make it look like I'm prying?  Please help!

I had a toddler swing on my huge elm tree, just off the back patio for over 3yrs.  No one ever sat in it!  It just stayed there, moving in the breeze, always available, always inviting.  It reminded me of the lack of real connection since the wedding.  Look out at my gardens and bird watch...the swing.  Take the dogs out for potty and play...the swing.  You get the point!  So I got a ladder and took it down.  I washed it up and gathered the last ride on toy left in my garage and a couple of plastic trucks.   I leave surprises for the neighbor children next door.  If  find a treasure at a thrift store or flea market, I cannot resist.  I will pick it up and give it away! I anonymously leave it on their driveway.

I left the remaining toys and swing on the next door driveway on Friday afternoon. All the toys now gone from my view.  Check!

When Hubby and I got back fr the dog park that eve, the neighbors had the swing up on a tree and their toddler was in, squealing with delight!   Another was riding on the lil red ride on toy:)

Finally the swing got swung! It made me feel elated that the toys were finally being enjoyed!  I plan to continue the summer santa routine:)

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Keys Girl

Good for you, FL, glad to hear some kids are getting some joy out of the toys.


"Don't make me get a restraining order"........oooohhh.......I sure wouldn't call.........and I'm sorry that you are having to go through this.......but keep on playing Summer Santa and drop all the affection on some children, and hopefully you'll get some news.

KG
"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown

Lillycache

Is it just me??..... But everytime I read about "TIME OUTS" my blood boils...  It's something that is done to punish little kids... not adult women.    I wouldn't call either FL.   My DIL threatened me with a restraining order,  Not sure why as I never showed up at her door uninvited.  I also have never called their house again.  DS and I communicate on his cell only.

Anyway, glad you were able to give some joy to some children with your gifts.  Keeping up the Summer Santa thing is lovely, and I'm certain will mean a lot to the recipients of your thoughtfulness and generosity.

Pooh

I wouldn't call either.  I think when someone goes as far as to make threats on what they are going to do (even when you haven't done anything), then anything you do will be seen as violating their wishes.  When you haven't done anything and they are acting that way, then there is not reasoning with the unreasonable.

I love your summer santa...you're a good egg!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Elise

I love your generous heart and healthy way to handle that swing too empty in your yard,etc.

I'm in the 'don't call or contact camp' - next move is his, theirs. His threat makes my blood boil too.

lancaster lady

Oh FL ,

My heart is aching along with yours .
however if those words were uttered to me , I would be mad .The thing is to stay mad, and strong .
Perhaps once the baby comes he will relent and want you to see the new one , I hope so
for your sake .
It's always the little ones that break our hearts .
Maybe the kids next door will adopt you ...I would ...:)

constantmargaret

Those darn dreams. We can do so well during the days, but at night, when our defenses are down, ...in creep the hopes, fears, wishes and fantasies.

Sometimes my dreams are so vivid and realistic, I wake up crying. Boy, doesn't that make me mad! I

I too have a stay away order, and although it irks me that my arrogant immature son has the audacity to give me an order like that, what I'm realizing is that as long as he isn't speaking to me, his father has to take 100% responsibility for him, and I never have to listen to him complaining, demanding, shouting out obscenities or giving me any more orders, ever.


But yeah, if someone could make a happy dream pill, I would buy it.

firelight

I don't know what to say to you FL.  I know full well that feeling of overwhelming wanting to call.  My heart so breaks for you to be going through that emotion.  Sometimes I call and sometimes I don't but I've not been threatened with a restraining order though. 

You can always get another swing or toy if by some chance things change in the future for you. 

It's so difficult when our picture perfect view of how things would be miss the mark by so far.  We all know it.

At least your not punishing yourself by watching the swing anymore (at least in your own yard).  It's a healthy way to move forward. 

I would give you an encouraging hug if I could. 
Firelight

"When you allow life to flow... without struggle... your Soul is restored."   ~z2z~

themuffin

 :'( :'(  Footloose....I just threw myself a pity party yesterday over birth of first time GC. ..then I came here and read your post. Now I feel like a fool. :'(
Your words broke my heart.  No grandma should have to go without her grandchildren. Your situation makes mine situation seem like a beautiful thing.  I can't imagine how terrible you must be feeling if I felt as terrible as I did yesterday.  I wish I could give you a hug.

What you've done for the other kids in the neighbor says so much about the wonderful person you are.  It's such a shame that your grandkids are missing out on such a beautiful relationship.  I hope that someday soon DS will rethink his actions.  Sometimes something happens, or just the right person says something that makes them reconsider how short life is.

Sending you love and hugs.....

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Footloose

My dear Wwu FRIENDS!
tHANKS SO MUCH FOR CARING AND GIVING ME YOUR WELL WISHES.  IT REALLY HELPS TO KNOW i HAVE PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND ME!  Dang caps lock!  sorry;/

I am going on a bus trip next week to New England from Atlanta.  My hubby is joining me as I have been up there over 20 times during my career yet have not taken time to vacation.   We are going to add to this trip, beyond the usual Bloomfield, Simsbury, Hartford CT, and also see Boston and the coast of Maine too.  Another happy honeymoon with my dear dear hubby! 

Seeing the neighbor kids play with the stuff I have given them does bring me great joy!  With me, it's not buying the gifts, it spending time watching the kids enjoy them!  That's the driver for me; EXPERIENCES and quality time.  Time is the most loving and valuable gift in my book!

Pooh

Now that sounds like a good time right there!  Have an absolute blast!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Elise

Have a wonderful trip FL. Quality experiences for sure!  I want to see New England like that one day.

Pen

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Barbie

Footloose,

Just wanted to say that I also enjoy watching my GD wear and play with the gifts that I give her more than buying them, however, when I said that to my DS I got an earful from him, one of the nicest things that he told me was that once you give someone a gift it is theirs to do whatever they want with it, of course I agree with that but it's different with a GC I thought, he made me feel like I was such an awful person for feeling this way, so I stopped buying gifts.