adult children dont speak to me

[Keys Girl]

I've found that within my own FOO when I stopped participating in any events, they became a little nicer to me.......'cause it's like playing basketball without the ball when the scapegoat leaves. 

Every once in a while I feel like going to a farmer and asking him if he can deliver a dozen goats to my family members with a little note that says, "Hey, you lost your scapegoat, but you've got a new nanny goat now!" Make sure to put a big red bow on them all, will ya?

KG :-)

[luise.volta]

[Begonia]

Oliveb: My heart goes out to you for what you have been through.  So good that you are reaching out.  This site really has been a great source of support for me and I know you will find that too.  Your life is your own now to plan and play and get healthy (like you say you are going to the gym).  Keep posting!! 

[sassy56]

Hey All you gals! Those that have responded to my post. I really want to thank all of you for your kindness and support. I have wrote this before but feel like maybe it didn't get posted. I'm still figuring this out. I am at my wits end with my children, and today is my oldest granddaughter's B-Day. I'm going to try and call her, but doubt that I'll get through. I called the other day and they picked up the phone just to hang it back up. They never spoke a word. My oldest GD is 17 yrs old. I do know my daughter has turned her against me. But although I have always known this, it has never stopped me from trying. Every day I tell myself I will make it. And that its my turn now. It's time for me. Where do I start? I do not know anyone. I have no friends. No one seems to like me if I try. Today I want to know what's wrong with me that every one has always hated me. No! TRUELY!! it has always been this way..........I'm just now acknowledging it. I don't feel like a bad person and infact I always try harder than anyone to get people to like me. I will give the shirt off my back and everyone knows it. But then they beat me up with the shirt and tell me I'm crazy. Now, like I said before, I am a educated woman. I have always gone above and beyond the call of duty..........have had three children had 4 foster children....took care of grand kids. And now, I'm just dirt under their feet. Listen..........by no means am I having a pity party............I'm trying to figure out what it is I'm doing wrong that I have become sooooooo hated.
Again you guys, God Bless you all and thank you for putting up with me.
I hope I can lean on you all for a while in an effort to vent all this, ya know?
Respectfully;
Sassy56

[Pooh]

Hey Sassy.  I modified your post and removed the "not nice" word.  I know you didn't type it out and used symbols, but we don't allow that either.  If we can figure it out, it's a no-no.

I guess from what you wrote, are you trying to figure out why your DD hates you or are you trying to figure out why you perceive that everyone hates you?  Including friends, etc.?

I'm asking because when it comes to an individual or a few family members that don't like us, there is no figuring that out sometimes if there wasn't something big.  As Luise says, you can't make sense out of the senseless.  If you are saying in general, everybody, then I do think there are some things to figure out for you.  If you have noticed that everyone you come in contact with seems to not like you, then what in your personality could be causing them to run?  You said that you try really hard.  Could it be that you are trying to hard?

[oliveb]

thanks Begonia.  I like your comment Luise. I am feeling a bit down this morning, I gave up smoking on Sunday..Help...I am climbing the wall.  I have just come back from the gym, I did kick boxing with my trainer, my lungs feel so much better.   Sassy56, I only have a couple of friends, who I know would truly be there for me, I have no immediate family or my children. I have my sad days but life must go on.

[Pen]

Oliveb, good for you! I know that's a tough thing to do & I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. In fact, you've just motivated me to work out

[oliveb]

Hi Pen, I have lost over 8 kilos since my birthday in March, approx. 3 kilos left to lose. I am having a mini arm lift 5/7/12, I feel so much better working out.

[Pooh]

Congrats Olive on the weight loss and stopping smoking.  That's my one crutch I have left and I so need to kick it to the curb.

[luise.volta]

The best thing I have ever read on quitting smoking is in the book recommended here recently (that I got) by Augusten Burroughs: 'This Is How'.

[oliveb]

Hi Luise, I read Allen Carr's  EASY WAY TO STOP SMOKING.  It is recommended by Richard Branson, Anthony Hopkins and others. I know it helped me.

[luise.volta]

Great.  Books speak to us. When the book I mentioned was recommended by our member (I think it was Keys Girl), she  said if she could only have one book in her library, that would be it. I have never felt that way about any book ever. That's why I sent for it and after reading it, I agree. It isn't a book about quitting smoking...but that is addressed in it.

[oliveb]

I have people say, why dont I contact my children, someone has to break the ice. I know why I dont, I will not be abused anymore.

[luise.volta]

Only once did anyone say that to me but the memory is very clear. I responded, "The ice has broken me."

[oliveb]

I didnt think of that Luise