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Father's Day

Started by Beth 2011, June 03, 2012, 04:21:07 PM

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Beth 2011

My DH is really a good guy and it just makes me mad about how insignificant we all are to DS.  I know that DH will move through the day without missing a beat but it just makes me angry.  If DH was in perfect health it might be a different story, but I doubt it.  It sounds good when I say it.  DH keeps going to the mail box checking it and asking if the mail came.  I spoke with my DM about Father's Day and how it makes DH feel every year since DS has been with DIL.  She said that DS will think about everything that has happened as GC gets older and will have a change of heart.  I would like to think this is true but the way things are and have been, it seems unlikely.   I always think that I have a hold on my feeling and then I see my FOO hurting because of DS and it just flies all over me.    Thanks for listening.   

firelight

It seems like dads go through the day without missing a beat but we see signs that they, too, are thinking of their AC and would like to be remembered.  They have a tendency to hold it in......we get to come to this site and let 'er fly.  I know what you mean Beth 2011.
Firelight

"When you allow life to flow... without struggle... your Soul is restored."   ~z2z~

luise.volta

My husband (age 100) no longer knows his son, (a full Colonel, retired.) His son understands but it really hurts him.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

firelight

yes, his son is experiencing his own feelings of loss and grief.  role reversal in a way.  gosh, it's a good thing we don't know ahead of time what happens to us.
Firelight

"When you allow life to flow... without struggle... your Soul is restored."   ~z2z~

Doe

Lordy, yesterday I thought, "great, no more holidays for a while to cause anyone grief".   Maybe we'll all get a break in August and Sept?

justanoldgrandma

Since ds's ILs have so many weekends where everyone is there, we don't get to celebrate holidays w ds (other ds lives too far away)....

So since dh made my Mother's Day special (no son was here,) he took me out to eat and a movie....so I will make Father's Day a good day for dh; (dh will get cards and calls from dss which is good) and I will go w him to a festival where he competes in his favorite sport....it's a long ride and may be hot and will definitely be a long day, but I'll provide the food and drink and good company for him....

Thankfully he isn't a pouter or resentful person as I am sometimes!  He is more accepting of the way things are.  And we are lucky that although we don't have the weekly phone calls/visits and obligatory weekend dinners of the other foo, we aren't estranged from dss..... neglected compared to dil's foo, but their lives aren't so perfect either; I dare say dh and I have a more peaceful and happy home.

Been thinking of things and have decided that it's dh and me now; AC just can't be here for us all the time.....so it's up to us to make each other happy.  (Still trying to make friends from church, etc., bc friends can enrich our lives.)

Beth 2011

I see that this can work both ways Ms. Luise.  I hope your son has a good Father's Day and your DH.  I know you will take good care of him. 

You know it is a full moon... dudududududududu  :)  maybe that is why I was emotional.   :) But I feel better after reading everyone's responses.  Just an Old Grandma I think I am almost at that point.  Enjoy Father's Day.

luise.volta

Val's son is from his first marriage...which lasted 54 years after a 5 year engagement. We have been married 22 years. He was 78 when I married him and he really took to both of my sons. We don't celebrate any occasions any longer with Val because it only confuses him. He sleeps about 20 hours a day. The rest of the time he seems more "on the other side" than here. And I don't know how he manages it, but he's still the sweetest guy around! :-)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

firelight

luise, I think yours and Val's is a beautiful love story.  Squeezing hugs to you for the days when it feels lonesome without him.  How lucky to find real love at any age, let alone later in life. 
Firelight

"When you allow life to flow... without struggle... your Soul is restored."   ~z2z~

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

Every time I read about Luise and Val, it makes me think Nicholas Sparks should have written their story.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

Also, sometimes Val doesn't know me. Usually it's when I go over to help feed him in the early evening because his limited energy is gone. The last time that happened, I didn't realize he didn't recognize me and I said, "I love you, Val!" He replied, "I'm married!"  He obviously wasn't sure who he was married to...but he wasn't going to fall for some young upstart who was putting the moves on him!" :-)))
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

Well good for him!  You got to watch those candy stripers!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Doe

Quote from: luise.volta on June 08, 2012, 08:49:42 AM
I said, "I love you, Val!" He replied, "I'm married!"

Priceless!  At least he's faithful!