Author Topic: Completely done with DIL/SM  (Read 14155 times)

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Offline luise.volta

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #60 on: October 03, 2012, 06:31:05 PM »
P - I agree that they are over the top on the idiot meter. And it's between them. Here'a hoping DS and FDIL get totally fed up sooner rather than later. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Pooh

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #61 on: October 04, 2012, 06:32:47 AM »
Thank you everyone for the supportive responses.  FDIL has no desire to have some over-the-top wedding.  Last night was spent making her Sister's bouquet.  I made all of mine for my wedding and have done 3 friends for their wedding.  I love to do them and they turn out well.  FDIL knows this, and asked if I would show her and help her do hers.  Of course, so I was teaching her last night.  Her centerpieces, she found some beautiful glassware and candles at the dollar tree! Lol.  This is a woman who is very thrifty and everything she is doing is so cute.  She bought a $10 chalkboard, a $5 dollar easel thing and a $1 box of chalk and made this sign the other night that said, "Today, two families become one.  Pick a seat, not a side" and it will be displayed at the doorway.  How cute is that?  My DH secured the place where we got married (the whole playground thing with the room and kitchen at the Police Dept. where he worked).  They are just using the room and kitchen to get married so we got it for free for 4 hours.  She's been buying table stuff, cups and plates, etc. all at the dollar tree.  So she is spending very little but doing some cute ideas, and paying for it all themselves (their wishes).  We even told her we would purchase DH's shorts, they didn't have to do that.  Nope, she got them and found his and YS's for $6 on clearance, this time of year.  Royal blue polos for $10 bucks and they are done! Lol.  That's what YS wanted as her colors are royal blue and tan.  YS said he wears a uniform every day and wants to be in nothing that feels uniformish (is that a word?).

The really bad part is, now YS and FDIL are saying they are going to tell them not to even come to the hospital if they can't act like human beings.  They are showing their true colors and YS/FDIL are both so tired of it.  They are doing themselves in.  They are turning a time that should be fun and joyful for them into drama and stress.  I am being supportive and letting them handle it, but dang if I don't want to email the hussy and tell her what I think of them both doing this to them....I keep refraining....I keep refraining....I keep refraining....

As far as FB being a problem, it really isn't the problem, they are.  YS only has access to internet, no phone, no texting so it has been a lifeline for us to contact him quickly and have conversations.  That's the only way most of the family can contact him and he is enjoying getting the emails and funny stuff from MOST of the family, as everyone else is very uplifting and sweet to him.  FDIL blocked SM last night and YS says he is doing the same.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Doe

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #62 on: October 04, 2012, 06:37:03 AM »

So FDIL is upset because she feels like all this is her fault...which we have assurred her it's not.


Welcome to the family, FDIL! 

Offline Pooh

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #63 on: October 04, 2012, 06:52:34 AM »
Ha ha ha....that's what I keep telling her....
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Footloose

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #64 on: October 04, 2012, 06:58:23 AM »
Fdil is lucky to have u and u her! Sounds like DS chose well! Bless u!

Offline pam1

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #65 on: October 04, 2012, 07:41:13 AM »
Shame on them!  It sounded like FDIL was even willing to buy their outfits!  The norm around here is the bride picks out, but the attendees pay.  She was trying to go the extra mile and got slapped in the face.  I'm angry for her. 

The upside with all this is that she and YDS are finding out now how difficult they can be, rather than when the baby comes.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Monroe

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #66 on: October 04, 2012, 08:40:08 AM »
Thank you everyone for the supportive responses.  FDIL has no desire to have some over-the-top wedding.  Last night was spent making her Sister's bouquet.  I made all of mine for my wedding and have done 3 friends for their wedding.  I love to do them and they turn out well.  FDIL knows this, and asked if I would show her and help her do hers.  Of course, so I was teaching her last night.  Her centerpieces, she found some beautiful glassware and candles at the dollar tree! Lol.  This is a woman who is very thrifty and everything she is doing is so cute.  She bought a $10 chalkboard, a $5 dollar easel thing and a $1 box of chalk and made this sign the other night that said, "Today, two families become one.  Pick a seat, not a side" and it will be displayed at the doorway.  How cute is that?  My DH secured the place where we got married (the whole playground thing with the room and kitchen at the Police Dept. where he worked).  They are just using the room and kitchen to get married so we got it for free for 4 hours.  She's been buying table stuff, cups and plates, etc. all at the dollar tree.  So she is spending very little but doing some cute ideas, and paying for it all themselves (their wishes).  We even told her we would purchase DH's shorts, they didn't have to do that.  Nope, she got them and found his and YS's for $6 on clearance, this time of year.  Royal blue polos for $10 bucks and they are done! Lol.  That's what YS wanted as her colors are royal blue and tan.  YS said he wears a uniform every day and wants to be in nothing that feels uniformish (is that a word?).


This wedding sounds absolutely charming.  Creative, original.  Can I come?   I see a young couple who have their feet on the ground, heads on their shoulders, focusing on their life together, not on a "keeping up with the Jones" ceremony that lasts only a few hours.  Good for them. 

Pooh - how do you make the bouquets weeks in advance?  Artificial/silk flowers?  Would love to know - so I can copy when my time comes. 

As far as visiting in the hospital - - the mom shouldn't be overwhelmed with visitors while she is in labor - - only visitors she wants.  And the hospital will probably discharge her in 24-48 hours after delivery - so hopefully she can get right home before the awful step-mother shows. 

Offline Pooh

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #67 on: October 04, 2012, 01:45:15 PM »
I do them Monroe with artificial flowers.  You can do them with real flowers, but much harder and you can only do them a day in advance.  They are really simple to do and it's really about playing :)

If you have a local craft store, you just need the bouquet ring and then there is a Styrofoam insert with a handle that goes in the middle.  I use hot glue on everything and glue it in place.  I pick two or three substantial size flower (like a rose or daisy), then a smaller flower.  We get the less expensive bundles of them and then you just cut the stems where there is about 2" remaining.  Put some hot blue on them and stick them in, in whatever pattern you choose.  You can do them for symmetrical for a more formal look, or more random for a casual look.  I start with the 1st substantial, then the second, then the other, then the smaller.  Then we take baby's breath and fill in some, then I use the leaves from the flower bundles, and glue them in between.  I usually finish with a few small picks of beads, or glass stems, ribbon...whatever you want.  There are so many choices in the bridal section of little picks with some bling.  I cover the back of the bouquet ring with leaves (if it's plastic), pressing them flat and then glue the coordinating color ribbon around and around the handle.  You can experiment and leave some flowers and greenery longer in the front and make a cascade down the front and if the bride wants that, I add a couple of pieces of the ribbon trailing too if she wants.  I just did trailing greenery down the front of mine.

I promise it's not hard and you just keep filling until you're happy.

This is a picture of mine for my wedding.  The one in the front was mine, the other two for the bridesmaids.  I think I did all three of mine, plus used the leftover flower and did 3 boutonnieres and 2 mothers corsages for like $60.

« Last Edit: October 04, 2012, 01:47:07 PM by Pooh »
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Pooh

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #68 on: October 04, 2012, 01:55:24 PM »
Also notice there are daisies in mine, but not in theirs, and I had yellow roses and they had the same color yellow but in a different flower.  I like to make the bride's bigger and a little different to be special.  They make a small bouquet ring and a larger one.  I use the larger one for the brides.

Also, FDIL is having a planned C-section so they all know when it is and then will have to stay for minimum 3 days due to her still not having a piece of her skull in and she's high risk because of it.  Just the waiting room for all of us.  We asked her if she would rather us not show up and wait at home, but she wants us there.  I'm thinking if they tell them not to come and that they will call and let them know, they may not show up.  She has been telling her Mother what has been going on too and her Mother is ready to spit nails about them as well.  I don't think they want to come and have to face both of us...there will not be a friendly face in the crowd.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Monroe

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #69 on: October 04, 2012, 06:33:43 PM »
Pooh - thanks for the lesson on the flowers.  Yours look great.    I have seen some beautiful silk flowers in Hobby Lobby - so that would work great.

I feel for your FDIL and DS - but I am sure with you there to protect and guide them both they will be fine.  Plus her mother will be there, too, so it sounds like FDIL will have all the support she needs - and the armed forces to keep SM at bay.   ;D

Best wishes to all of you.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #70 on: October 04, 2012, 06:41:25 PM »
I am having a vicarious experience. I am blocking DIL and SM from my reality and having a ball being part of planning the wedding. I love the "taking sides" sign! What fun!
« Last Edit: October 04, 2012, 06:43:03 PM by luise.volta »
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline elsieshaye

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #71 on: October 05, 2012, 07:34:56 AM »
Keep refraining, Pooh.  You're doing a wonderful job being supportive of them without overstepping.  Sending my best thoughts for your DS and FDIL in the coming weeks, and for you and your DH.  Deep, cleansing breaths...
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Offline pam1

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #72 on: October 05, 2012, 01:55:04 PM »
Those are beautiful, Pooh!  What can't you do???
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Pooh

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Re: Completely done with DIL/SM
« Reply #73 on: October 08, 2012, 06:47:07 AM »
Lol thanks.  I can't whistle Pam!  Never have been able to, it comes out a squeak!  :o  I love making things.  Part of it is because I'm a cheapskate, and part of it is because I just love doing it.

Monroe, that's my favorite store and I watch for sales.  At least once a month, they put the silk flowers and the bridal section for 50% off.  Plus if you have a smartphone that can access the internet, they usually are running a coupon constantly for 40% off a regular item.  You can pull it up on your phone and they will take it.  Go to the bridal section and they have probably around 50 different picks with bling, pearls, feathers...whatever you need.  If you decide to do it, just remember this....when you start and get it about half way full you are going to go...ummm...umm....this is awful.  It looks funny until you start getting it really full.  Just keep glueing stuff in there and filling it and once you get it all full, they look great.  FDIL was disappointed in hers yesterday, so we went back and started just adding more, and then made the cascade down the front and now she loves it!  The fuller the better.

Luise, I keep pushing my invisible block button too!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell