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What did I do that both my children have nothing to do with me? Help

Started by kttssteel5, April 10, 2012, 03:47:19 AM

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Pooh

April 17, 2012, 07:47:14 AM #15
This was one of the things I read that opened my eyes to what I was doing.  It's about people that suffer with chronic pain...but it also fits anyone that deals with the various situation we have here I think.  It will really make you stop and think.  I printed it out and now I keep it posted in my room at home.  My new mantra is, "You are using up one of my spoons."

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

lancaster lady

April 17, 2012, 10:30:17 AM #16
Oh Pooh , I really enjoyed that , it made me smile actually . Like when people ask me to walk or run the mile for help the heroes or breast cancer . It's not that I don't want to its because I can't . My head says yes and my body says Who on earth are you kidding !  I wish !

Pooh

April 17, 2012, 12:34:16 PM #17
I'm glad you enjoyed it.  I laughed the first time I read it because I could relate so well but then I really did think that anyone that is dealing with stressful people in their life, could probably relate to having to use up all their time and thoughts on them.

"TAKE BACK YOUR SPOONS!"

;D
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

April 17, 2012, 03:50:43 PM #18
Wow, that is a great way to explain it. Thanks so much!

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

kttssteel5

April 24, 2012, 07:34:13 AM #19
Well I haven't looked at her FB page and was at my Mom's the other day and she ask had i saw what my DD had posted about the baby, I said no she started to tell me, I told her I didn't want to hear it, of course she was shocked and said yes you do  it finally came down to me just telling her I can't afford to care what what DD has posted, needless to say my mom was not happy but I didn't have to go through the pain of what I was missing out on and went about my day in a happy mood.  Thanks again for the advice but how do I get it through to others that I don't need  updates on my DD and GC, at least my DH who sees the posts knows to never bring it up but of course he sees the aftermath.

luise.volta

April 24, 2012, 07:45:43 AM #20
Good for you for being your own advocate! Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

April 24, 2012, 08:11:22 AM #21
That's a big step, K5. Good work!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Doe

April 24, 2012, 10:59:04 AM #22
Quote from: kttssteel5 on April 24, 2012, 07:34:13 AM
Thanks again for the advice but how do I get it through to others that I don't need  updates on my DD and GC, at least my DH who sees the posts knows to never bring it up but of course he sees the aftermath.

As I see it, you can't live in a bubble - people are going to say what they say and you can't monitor everyone's impulses to talk to you.  You can, though, monitor your own reactions.  Short answers and change the subject or leave the room or get busy with something else. 
I personally think that if they get a big reaction from you, they might want to explore that.  But if you act sort of bored or disinterested (even if you're aching inside), they may be more likely to drop the topic.
jmo.

kttssteel5

May 15, 2012, 04:45:29 AM #23
Well hope you all had a Happy Mothers Day, I just wanted to update all that my DS did send me a Happy Mothers Day FB message, it is a start, so keep your heads up and think postive but go on with your life is all you can do.  Have a blessed day! Ktt
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