Jane F STRANGE TURN OF EVENTS....

[JaneF]

Good Saturday morning to you ladies.  This past month has been a challenge to say the least.  I am just here to update on the situation.  My husband and I are very tired, but we feel we did the very best we could.  I got a call yesterday from the powers that be, and it seems the charges of all sexual related issues will be dropped against my daughter and her husband!  This is a relief honestly because I know my daughter has sissues, but I could not imagine her doing those things...but one never really knows sometimes huh?  At any rate, the boys were to be released back to her custody yesterday.  One good thing is that she is allowing the older boy to stay with us.  The therapist did speak to cps about how he was doing, and she honestly said he just could not handle being moved and especially where he felt unsafe and scared.  She was afraid he'd just shut down totally.  So for now, he is here still with us.  The little fella apparently was not treated anywhere near as bad as the older one.  That is good to know, but I think it may be because he has been around him since he was an infant, and he does not know his biological father at all.  So my basic fear still remains the same now...the abuse of the prescription drugs by my daughter and her husband.  When my daughter arrived to get the little fella, I was very happy that her sister in law had driven them here as it is a 3 hour drive.  The sis in law is not a drug abuser, but I could tell my daughter had taken something between the time they left there and arrived here.  Her eyes were slanty (so to speak), and she could barely keep them open!  She claimed the ride wears her out...she takes me for a fool.  She was slurring her words too.  I wonder if the sis in law is aware?  I give up though as far as cps is concerned.  They did not address the issues of abuse to my grandsons at all.  Even though it was noted some of the meds were missing when we picked them up!  My thinking is this...the girl lied about the sexual abuse, so they were falsely arrested and held for 2 weeks.  The children were removed from them for a month, these charges and their photos were plastered all over papers and tv news etc...so it appears that there will be lawsuits filed, SOOOO I think cps is just trying to do damage control and so they are not addressing the issues with the boys.  Just my guess of course.  The juvenile system is trying now to decide a course of action for the girl that lied.  Possibly juvenile detention and charges  for her.  I guess a lot of my hard work was for not in this case.  I had appointments set up for the little one for medical evaluation (very intensely hyperactive, could be due to environment but wanted to rule out other issues), had appointments set for prep for Head Start School Program, had gotten him enrolled in the daycare/preschool and he attended a few weeks there before leaving, had doctor appointments for physical well check set up (already took care of updating his immunizations), and I got him in the W.I.C. nutrition program!  At least we know we did care for him to the best of our ability, and even though it is a lot quieter and calmer here I miss him already.  I sure hope the older one is left alone, and of course his therapy will continue.  School will be out the 18th of this month.  I plan to get a family pool pass for the summer, as the children are excited about swimming.  My husband and I can go to supervise and also enjoy a refreshing dip if we want.  That is if I manage to drop the 20 pounds before June!!!  lol  Of course I have a swim suit that provides appropriate coverage at any rate...so all is well.  Now that the little one is not here I plan to start again on my exercise and walking routine.  I now have to begin the process of planning the two childrens birthday parties.  They are both in June, and only 9 days apart!  *sigh*.  One wants ice skating party now instead of sleepover, then I may have a park picnic after with cake and other treats.  Not sure what the little fella will want to do yet.  Well, I need a nice cup of coffee now ladies.  My husband is home from work sick today, so I need to attend to those things as well.  Thank you for the support through the ordeal we have experienced...I hope things will calm down even more and stay that way now!

[Pen]

Well, you're right, JaneF, you & DH did the best you could. It's disheartening when the bureaucracy in charge of children's safety & welfare drops the ball. I'm having a coffee with you right now; take care of that DH of yours and get some rest yourself! (((hugs)))

[artlady]

I'm so proud of both you and your DH for all the awesome work , love and support you have and are giving to these two little guys ( well one not as little). I know it must have been so hard to see the little one go but might no be long and he will be back. So glad the older one was able to stay and not have any more disruptions in his life. It really makes me saddened to hear about dss not doing their jobs , ;protecting children and following up on these children as they should. I wish i could have a cup of coffee for you but too late in the day and I think i need a nap. Have a wonderful day and an early Happy Mother's day   hugs and praises to you both

[luise.volta]

I'm totally amazed and in awe of you and DH! Sending love...

[cpr]

You are a wonderful grandmother and human being. Enjoy this relative calm while you can. I suspect you are right and CPS is worried about covering their own rears so it will be harder than ever in the future for you to work with them. 

Do you keep a journal concerning the children? I think you might want to consider doing so. Also, and I know this may seem horrible, but if your daughter ever shows up to pick up or drop off a child and is driving call in an anonymous tip to the local authorities. Just call 911 or in some states there is actually a drunk driver phone line so you may want to check on that and give them a description of the car and tell them you think the driver is under the influence. Tell them that you are wish to make this tip anonymously. You may just be saving more people than you know, including those babies.

[shorewil]

Happy Mother's Day toa wondeful.most caring Grandma ! Re: your daughter- I know in daycare I was not allowed to release a child to anyone under the influence - even a parent who was not driving. I know this because I challenged a Dad once  ( and felt like a fool) . He confided that he was dealing with MS and weaved and stumbled because he couldn't help it. But - we should ALWAYS err on the side of the child. Glad that the older son remains with you and amhoping the best for the litle one. But Jane - know and be proud that that you and DH have done the right thing.

[herbalescapes]

keeping my fingers crossed that things continue to do move in the right direction.  good luck with everything. 

[pam1]

Good luck with everything, you're doing the best you can!

[Pooh]

You have done your best and I admire you for it!