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Boycott.........Mother's Day

Started by Keys Girl, April 19, 2012, 05:27:59 pm

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firelight

Well, the ones that are saying they don't usually get anything (except maybe a card) are not alone.  Every year, I round up my mom, my daughter, and my sister who lost her one and only chance at a child to a tubal pregancy years back.  We always include my sister because we will never forget that special little someone. 

Anyway, I am the one who spends all the $ for us all to go out (for my mom and daughter anyway)every year and usually initiate the effort as well.  This will be my daughter's first mother's day of her own (even though she has 2 stepsons previously before her own daughter was born).  With all that has happened, I am feeling drained thinking of it again.  I have felt unappreciated and that it hasn't really mattered to anyone and I have always felt I "forced" it on them.  I calmly (or should I say defeatedly) figured this year everyone can be on their own and I will treat myself.   

My mom's phone finally got turned back on but I have already sent her and my sis something in the mail to get in time for mother's day.  I stopped by my daughter's and gave her a card with flowers and wished her a happy 1st mother's day.  (just something the women in our family does even though most just do for their mom's, we celebrate collectively, even though I'm lucky to get a card and sometimes not that). I did make plans with my mom on an off day though for us to get together and I'll do her hair (perm, I used to be a hairdresser before I was a nurse) and we'll eat, drink, and be merry that day together.  She was all for it.  Lo and behold, when I told my daughter (who has become quite accustomed to me doing all the work for everyone) that I was going to have grandma over on a certain day, she said, "Maybe I'd like to come." (she will bring her little one). My sis said the same.  I was shocked.  So, even though I bowed out this year in person (only a tiny twinge of guilt then it passed) and opted for the local fishing hole instead, looks like everyone wants to come over on that off-day anyway  :).  Just when I was going to throw in the towel because I figured no one cared about it anyway, they decided they missed that lil gathering of ladies.  I suppose there's still hope and have of course welcomed them with open arms for the off-day we have planned soon.  I plan on suggesting we all make a passing dish (with the exception of my own mom who will be queen for a day) or we can get take out.  Ironic really.    But I'm still going to be at the fishing hole on Sunday.  :-)  This will be the first time I've sat it out, even though we'll have a "do-over" shortly following.  One thought comes to mind for Sunday:  "I'd rather be fishin'."
Firelight

"When you allow life to flow... without struggle... your Soul is restored."   ~z2z~

nikncon

Any room in the boat??Fishing on MD sounds like a plan.

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artlady

Hey Pooh what time do we need to crash the reunion?  So far still no plans, but reading thru the lines  I will be here and she will be there. I don't' know if she is afraid to drive alone 70 miles with baby , if he won't come with her ( most likely the case as in past she had to come alone for birthdays, Easter , weddings) or what the hold up is. I know it is her first and I'd better there in a flash if he would be nice and not acting as though I"m not there or have very little to say , and not even to me . Now I'm on new meds that have caused bathroom issues do driving for me out of town is not going to happen and the chronic neuro burning has now moved up to include upper legs with lower and feet, sitting in the car unless on ice pack is h---. Not fun to get dx when 1st gs on the way and turning 60. Dh is past hurt is now getting mad , can't believe she has not said HMD in one of her text or emails yet , so I guess it will be like my birthday a call from a DD that has never missed being part of special times with her mother. I might suggest that we just celebrate all holidays on one day out of the year therefore it won't intrude in SIL's life or plans. I'm very hurt . I don't' expect her or him to put me on a pedestal , or does DH we would  just like to spend time with them and gs from time to time . We know they are busy , not been married but 2 years and new baby so they need time and space , we absolutely respect that. So DH works at golf course that morning but plans on taking me out to lunch, poor thing he is not my child and I"m not his mother. If our mother's were living we would be right there to make their day. His two boys (my stepsons) just lost their mother about 8 weeks ago so this will be hard for them, I sent their wives cards and a card for them ( thinking of them on this md) . OK i think I'll go move an azalea that i planted that really needs to be in another spot. Have a great day and I'll be glad when it is MONDAY  for the first time in a very long time . LOL

artlady

Jill1963   just wanted to say growing up I wanted 6 but due to rare cancer I was lucky to have the one DD. A true miracle baby as doctors said no and now way would I be able to do it . Now if I had 6 I would be filling these pages up 24/7  or maybe not , might have had some positives going on   LOL

Keys Girl

Quote from: luise.volta on May 06, 2012, 10:23:11 am
And a good one! No one can alter that fact! We gave them Life and a great start. What they did/do with them is about them not us. Yes, we all had expectations...who wouldn't? And if those expectations bring us sadness instead of joy...there are other options. Lets see...ah...ere...

Please someone, help me out here...

OK...what I come up with is that the other "choice" for me would have been not to be a mom. And I can honestly say that it was the greatest experience of my life and offered me the most, even if it cost me the most. Nope, I really wouldn't change that, no matter what.

Sending love...


It's a time to let go of any expectations that we had of them, and raise a few more for ourselves.

I'll pretend the rest of my life is a clean slate, and explore the options put on hold, the options that people said you couldn't do, and just keep my eyes looking forward.

Motherhood was a journey that had joys and sorrows, most of the joys when my son was under 10, but that path is one I won't be wandering down again, one with a different view and destination is the one I'm on now.  I went on a hike yesterday with an old friend and in about 5 miles of walking, we only looked back once, and then it was to point out where the trail ended.  I'll keep my eyes, over my toes and keep moving forward, even if it's only a few inches at a time.

KG
"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Footloose

Hallmark Holiday!  Hate it!  but,  I'll get something on clearance afterwards!  LOL!

artlady

Hey not long and this day will be over . Not to fret about for 364 more days Yahooooooooooooooooo

Doe

I had a great day helping my church prepare for a move - lots of people there with lots of moms - a buffet and flowers for all the moms! 

Got an impersonal automated notification for an online MD card from ES (estranged son) that I haven't bothered to pick up yet....