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Boycott.........Mother's Day

Started by Keys Girl, April 19, 2012, 05:27:59 PM

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luise.volta

AL - We're with you. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Lillycache

I suppose that next Sunday I will go out and buy my own petunias and spend the day in the yard making it pretty... with hubby and the dogs.  Then I will either cook something I want to eat... OR send hubby out for take out.  I may have a glass of wine and watch a movie in the evening while getting ready for the following workweek.  I have no idea if DS will stop over with the kids.  If he does, it will be because they are visiting with DILs mother who happens to live just a few miles from here.  If he doesn't come over, the excuse will be that he has to work.  It's always the same.   I have to find something within myself that will make the day good.  I'm a mom... I have been one for 42 years.  I have earned the right to feel good on MD whether anyone else thinks so or not, or wheter anyone else even gives it a thought.

artlady

I"ll also be thinking of my own mother I lost 28 years ago ( way too soon at age 65)  , missing her hugs, kisses and that feeling that she could make me feel that things will be OK. I looked forward to Mother's Day being able to treat her to a very special day and really surprise her with something I knew she wanted or needed but wouldn't splurge on herself to get it . Special days are hard when families have issues but mothers  really have problems on Mother's Day when it comes to their ac with problems. I do hope and pray that everyone on here is surprised by your Ac this year. Love and hugs to all  mothers .

luise.volta

And a good one! No one can alter that fact! We gave them Life and a great start. What they did/do with them is about them not us. Yes, we all had expectations...who wouldn't? And if those expectations bring us sadness instead of joy...there are other options. Lets see...ah...ere...

Please someone, help me out here...

OK...what I come up with is that the other "choice" for me would have been not to be a mom. And I can honestly say that it was the greatest experience of my life and offered me the most, even if it cost me the most. Nope, I really wouldn't change that, no matter what.

Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Doe

Lately I've been feeling less and less like a mother and more and more like a person.  I can't say that I'm not a mom any more but I'm getting to the point of caring less about that role and more about my future plans.  Being a mom has been one of my life's great experiences but I feel its time to graduate into Mom Emeritus, or maybe Emerita?

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

somom

That is an interesting question, Luise, the other choice about not being coming a mom.  I have often thought about that as I do not look forward to mother's day at all.  I have never had anything done special for me on that day, so the approach of it makes me sad.  I know I will do something for me that I do like, but it still makes me sad that I have all those children and no one really thinks to help me celebrate in any way by going out of their way to do so.  My life would have been so different if I had not had children and would I be happier?  I do not know, but I can not help think there is a  50% chance that I probably would have been.  Motherhood took too much of me (and those children are still taking), and it is hard to put a lot of effort back into just me now.  Now, if I had to advise someone as to whether they should become a mother I know what my answer would be.  It would be no.  But I think that is something that could not be totally explained to someone unless they experience it.  My best day on mother's day is to try not to think about it.

luise.volta

That is so honest. I admire you for that. Hindsight can be so different. And for me, it can change from one day to the next. I had a very close friend that never had children. She frankly admitted that she didn't want to "take the back seat" and not be the center of attention. Just before she passed on she told me she was wrong because she would have liked a son like my youngest, Kirk, (our WWU Webmaster,) who is now very focused on my welfare (albeit from afar.) When I told her she might have gotten a Kirk and she might not have...she seemed surprised. I look back and wonder why one son loathed me and one loves and respects me. I can't find an answer. Had I had two that saw me as my eldest did, I would probably agree with you. What a price to pay for being a loving person and giving your all.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

jill1963

somom,

that is sad that you feel that way,  :( no matter how my DD's make me feel i still loved being a Mom, especially when they were growing up, however although wanting 4 children i only ended up for various reasons with 2. Do you think that sometimes family size makes a difference? 
Although my YDD in particular is not easy to get along with and even worse since she moved out, i wish her happiness, i don't wish she hadn't been born.
I hope with time your own children realise what a wonderful DM they have and how wrong they were to neglect you. My own DM died when i was 7 years old, and although i only remember bits of what she was like i miss her all the time.  :(. So i never had an opportunity for a close relationship with my DM like yours could with you.
Like you i wish YDD in particular thought more of me to see me more often, but you cant force things, you can only hope it gets better as they get older and hopefully wiser. You sound a good but very weary DM, it sad your AC have made you feel that way.

Jill x

somom

That's the catch all isn't it.  We cannot choose how they all turned out.  I do have so many very wonderful and happy moments raising my children and watching them succeed in so many areas.  I have some very successful children no doubt.  But, the price paid for all that and to watch them evolve into adulthood with so many issues and bad temperaments has definitely taken a huge toll.  Even though I am married, I pretty much raised and guided my children with very little, emotional support from my husband.  He was absent (by his choice) emotionally and still is.  I am shocked at the result of all my hard work.  I am just saying putting it all in the pot it is like luise said a great price to pay.  My adult children may never be thankful for the dedication I gave but I know what I did as I get older and think about it all.  Even with all my successes and love for my children and personal sacrifice, looking back what I know now I might choose something different.

justanoldgrandma

Getting used to no kids visiting me, (well, they'll be at the other foo) but I know this and not gonna mope this time, no!

Already planned:  no tv commercials to watch (ridiculous!)
Will probably get a phone call, card, probably no present...
Told dh he can bbq for me or take me out to dinner.  He'll get me a card, all that I want.  Sometimes flowers.  To a movie if I want!

For the first time, not angry or disappointed!  Yay!

Might try out that new church bc we'll be in town for a change!

(success story!  finally facing facts!)

Pooh

I'm with Luise on this one.  I wouldn't trade being a Mom for anything in the world.  I have wonderful memories, I learned so much and laughed so much.  If I knew now what was going to happen with OS, I would still have chosen to do it. 

And just so you guys know, I spoke too soon!  Mother's day will now be spent at a family reunion at my MIL's house.   MIL has a 94 year old Aunt who they have decided to honor this Mother's day by all her kids coming in (6 of them spread out over the United States).  I called my Mom and told her what was happening and would she be Ok with us coming over Saturday instead?  Her response?  "Oh my yes.  94 and 6 kids!  She deserves a medal, not a Mother's day card!"

Got to love my Mom for being so understanding and my MIL for giving up her day to celebrate her Aunt's life.  Lesson learned from both of them:  Life is about love, not a title.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

Will your family adopt me, Pooh?
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

artlady

wow she needs to adopt lots of us   

Pooh

They will!  The more the merrier :)
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell