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detatched but resentful

Started by bettylou, April 20, 2010, 12:05:40 PM

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Pooh

Oh how funny.  That would have been priceless Luise!

  I just wish her Mother had told me she was going for the safari look....I had a really nice leopard scarf and alligator boots.....
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

kathleen

Pooh---I also say to you, "That's so funny."  Because I wore navy to my son's wedding, too!  (Probably should have worn black and a mourning veil.)
All this stuff about what MIL's wear to a wedding strikes me as pretty trivial.  Why not let people wear what they want?  The bride is the center of attention and everybody knows it. 

My DIL wanted to pick out my dress.  NO.  I got mine at a store called April Cornell, known for beautiful fabrics and very high quality clothing.  It was beautiful.  Like you I got it on sale.  I have not worn it since; no other occasion to; and am glad I did not lay out a fortune for it.  I could wear it again if I had an occasion.  My two other sons owned tuxedos but that wasn't good enough for DIL.  She insisted everyone rent to look exactly penguin-same. 

My youngest son was here over the weekend.  We were watching "About Schmidt," which has as a subplot all the horrible anxiety and bad experiences around an overblown wedding.  I had a talk with him and said, "I hope when you get married you will have an enjoyable day, not an up-tight three ring circus with tension you can cut with a knife, tasteless over-expense, and all kinds of politics."  I think he will.  He's very sweet.

Maybe some of you wonder where I get all my anti-wedding fervor.  Actually I'm not against them at all.  I'm just against the high-anxiety type.  And not only from having been through it with my DIL.  But from a summer on a newspaper where for two weeks I wrote nothing but re-writes
of weddings.  I got to hate it.  All the weddings were so much alike that the job was to try to make each one different, but they weren't.  They were pretty much all the same.   My sister-in-law got married under a tree with flowers in her hair.  It was beautiful, enjoyable, and FUN.

Kathleen


luise.volta

I went to a wedding in a Nudist Park once and that's what the bride wore...flowers in her hair!  :o
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

 :o

what, Luise?
your wedding was in a nudist park?   ;D

Pooh

Ha ha ha Luise!  Kathleen, I totally agree.  You would appreciate my wedding last November.  Both my hubby and I had been married before and both for long first marriages (Mine was 21, his was 18). We were just going to do a very small, intimate gathering of immediate family but had many friends that were very tickled that we had found each other, and wanted to participate.  My words were, Ok....we will do a wedding, but it will be OUR way.

We got married on a huge playground, right in the middle of a wooden fort.  My cake was lopsided (on purpose) with the bride on top wearing the grooms pants, and the groom figure in boxers.  I decorated the tables in 4 foot tall balloon centerpieces and we put toys on all the tables.  I had just cake and punch, then we made a candy buffet with little bags for everyone to fill up as favors.  We used nostalgic candy and old fashioned candy scoops and the table was surrounded with plastic police officers (like little army men but officers because my hubby is an Officer and we had 30 of them in attendance).

We had one of the Police Officers who likes to sing, do a couple of songs and my sister-in-law, who just happens to be in a big symphony, played her violin before the service.   We wrote our own vows and they consisted of things like "I promise to remember the Tour De France comes on in July and that Robin Williams is the greatest comedian of all time, etc."  We laughed through the entire ceremony as did our guests.  We had bubbles and a golf cart to take us across the road to the Veteran's Park where my hubby's late father has a memorial brick.  We placed flowers on his brick then rode the golf cart back to enjoy the reception.  It was the best time ever and the guests told us that they have never enjoyed a wedding so much.  It was relaxed and fun and I could have cared less what anyone wore.

The best part was what the minister did without us knowing he was going to do it.  When I was just dating my hubby, he told me that he loved me first.  It scared me to death and he knew it.  I didn't say anything back and he just smiled and said, "I am not looking for you to say it back right now, but I would like to know if you more than like me?"  I couldn't say anything I was so terrified of falling in love again.  So I said, "I will tell you something tomorrow."  Poor fellow.  So all night I had to think of something to tell him.  I knew I really, really, liked him...but I wasn't ready to admit love.   So the next day, on the phone, he asked if I had thought of anything.   I blurted out, "I Velcro you!"  He was like, "Uh, Ok....and that means?"  I said, "I feel like we are matched halves and if you went away today, I would feel ripped apart."

He had relayed this story to the minister (who was also an Officer) and at the end of our ceremony, before pronouncing us, the minister pulled out of his pocket 2 halves of velcro.  On one of them he had written my name, and on the other one, my husbands.  He relayed the story to the audience and then handed them to us saying, "It is now time to place your velcro together and let no man pull it apart."

It was priceless and I cried like a baby as everyone was laughing at the story.  I will never forget it and to this day, we never say "goodbye" to each other.  We say, "Velcro".
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

luise.volta

No Creme, I attended someone else's wedding there.   ;D ;D

And Pooh, that is so incredible!

I have been married for 18 years twice and once (Val) for 21! I don't give up easily.  :'(

One of my marriages was a remarriage to my latest "ex" because it put him in a better position tax-wise. We took two friends along and got married on our lunch hour. We all wore black. It took place in the court house with a judge officiating. We asked if we had to have a ceremony at all and he said, 'No, just sign here" so we did. Then all four of us went out to lunch and went back to work. ;D  :o 8) ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

LOL, WOW   ;D


really enjoyed reading your stories
thanks so much for sharing.... ;D

luise.volta

It's really fun to laugh together, isn't it?!  :-*
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

I have always had a good sense of humor and truthfully, that was one of the things I did wrong the first time.  I married a guy that didn't have much of one.  We never laughed together.

This time, my hubby has a matched sense of humor to mine and we spend most of our time together laughing.  Usually it is something silly or stupid, but man do we laugh.  He is currently in the process of writing me a love song....It starts with "Lettuce and tomato make salad.....".  And that, is as far as he has gotten....He sings it every night and I just can't stop laughing.  The man isn't right...thank goodness!  :P

Luise, what a life you have led!  You should write a book....I would buy it!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

luise.volta

My dad used to say that...please write an autobiography! (But don't use your real name!)  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

justus

I never understood why wedding protocol has to be so intricate. It doesn't keep people from using it or intentionally ignoring it with the intention to cause harm, it gives the bride a lot of extra stuff to worry about, and busybodies stuff to criticize. After dealing with SD, who became a bridezilla, and her Mom who became a MOBzilla, my DD said she was going to elope and then announce it at a huge barbecue.  She has my total support on that choice.

I advised my SD to go to one of the wedding chapels in Tennessee, and only invite a few close friends and family then throw a big party later on and to use the money they would spend on a big wedding on an incredible honeymoon. Nope, she had to do the whole shebang and she had to do it two weeks after graduating from college. The ceremony was everything she wanted, but the reception totally sucked rocks. Her Mom made it all about her, tried to write my kids out of the wedding, and her sister cried during the reception because SD was ignoring her.  People who said they would attend didn't show up to this catered event, her SIL was late, and danced and dressed like a slut, and her DJ was drunk at this morning wedding. There were some wonderful moments, but she recently told me that she wished she would have taken my advice. She could have had the same ceremony in Tennessee, and the other things that were good could still have happened at a big casual party in our back yard.

Louis, I am wondering what you wore to the nude wedding, if anything? Was it beige?


catchingup

Quote from: luise.volta on June 29, 2010, 11:08:32 AM
No Creme, I attended someone else's wedding there.   ;D ;D

And Pooh, that is so incredible!

I have been married for 18 years twice and once (Val) for 21! I don't give up easily.  :'(

One of my marriages was a remarriage to my latest "ex" because it put him in a better position tax-wise. We took two friends along and got married on our lunch hour. We all wore black. It took place in the court house with a judge officiating. We asked if we had to have a ceremony at all and he said, 'No, just sign here" so we did. Then all four of us went out to lunch and went back to work. ;D  :o 8) ;D

OH!! I just love this Luise.
Sounds so grown up. ;)

My Father always used to say."The first time you marry,you marry for love"
"The second time you marry for money"

A Wiser women would make sure her husband has plenty of life insurance.

My hubby has his good points and on the other side,better the devil I know than the one I dont know

catchingup

Quote from: Pooh on June 29, 2010, 10:38:26 AM
Ha ha ha Luise!  Kathleen, I totally agree.  You would appreciate my wedding last November.  Both my hubby and I had been married before and both for long first marriages (Mine was 21, his was 18). We were just going to do a very small, intimate gathering of immediate family but had many friends that were very tickled that we had found each other, and wanted to participate.  My words were, Ok....we will do a wedding, but it will be OUR way.

We got married on a huge playground, right in the middle of a wooden fort.  My cake was lopsided (on purpose) with the bride on top wearing the grooms pants, and the groom figure in boxers.  I decorated the tables in 4 foot tall balloon centerpieces and we put toys on all the tables.  I had just cake and punch, then we made a candy buffet with little bags for everyone to fill up as favors.  We used nostalgic candy and old fashioned candy scoops and the table was surrounded with plastic police officers (like little army men but officers because my hubby is an Officer and we had 30 of them in attendance).

We had one of the Police Officers who likes to sing, do a couple of songs and my sister-in-law, who just happens to be in a big symphony, played her violin before the service.   We wrote our own vows and they consisted of things like "I promise to remember the Tour De France comes on in July and that Robin Williams is the greatest comedian of all time, etc."  We laughed through the entire ceremony as did our guests.  We had bubbles and a golf cart to take us across the road to the Veteran's Park where my hubby's late father has a memorial brick.  We placed flowers on his brick then rode the golf cart back to enjoy the reception.  It was the best time ever and the guests told us that they have never enjoyed a wedding so much.  It was relaxed and fun and I could have cared less what anyone wore.

The best part was what the minister did without us knowing he was going to do it.  When I was just dating my hubby, he told me that he loved me first.  It scared me to death and he knew it.  I didn't say anything back and he just smiled and said, "I am not looking for you to say it back right now, but I would like to know if you more than like me?"  I couldn't say anything I was so terrified of falling in love again.  So I said, "I will tell you something tomorrow."  Poor fellow.  So all night I had to think of something to tell him.  I knew I really, really, liked him...but I wasn't ready to admit love.   So the next day, on the phone, he asked if I had thought of anything.   I blurted out, "I Velcro you!"  He was like, "Uh, Ok....and that means?"  I said, "I feel like we are matched halves and if you went away today, I would feel ripped apart."

He had relayed this story to the minister (who was also an Officer) and at the end of our ceremony, before pronouncing us, the minister pulled out of his pocket 2 halves of velcro.  On one of them he had written my name, and on the other one, my husbands.  He relayed the story to the audience and then handed them to us saying, "It is now time to place your velcro together and let no man pull it apart."

It was priceless and I cried like a baby as everyone was laughing at the story.  I will never forget it and to this day, we never say "goodbye" to each other.  We say, "Velcro".

What a lovely story.

luise.volta

I have never married for money. The price is too high!  ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

BellaTerra66

Quote from: cremebrulee on June 29, 2010, 10:23:32 AM
:o

what, Luise?
your wedding was in a nudist park?   ;D

Oh, Luise, there are hidden depths to you that we know very little about -- and can't wait to find out!   ;D