Not sure if this is the right post for this forum topic....

[JennG]

Hi all and just want to say first and foremost, thanks for listening. My story goes like this concerning my adult son and his wife. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my first son, I had him 4 days after my 17th birthday. I had quit high school, but went back when I moved in with my parents....I got my diploma. My son's father was not in the picture because I guess he didn't want to assume the responsibility and so it goes with that. I was a welfare recipient and also a high school student trying my best to not be a statistic and graduate. After I did that, and turned 18 I got a job and was finally off of the welfare. I was coerced, into allowing my mother and step-father to adopt him, with them telling me it was for the best and blah, blah, blah. Well I signed the papers. I was still his mother, he always knew that and I was always there. I guess you would call that an open adoption. My son is now 23 years old and is married to a girl whom I have never liked. Not because she has done anything to me personally and not because I am jealous. She is a female that loves to stir up drama and have folks at each others throats. The other day I received a message from via a social media website telling me what a terrible mother I was to give up my son so that I could have a good time partying and having a good time all throughout my son's growing up life. A week before that message, I had received on from my son stating basically the same things. I had been taking care of his daughter...she's 2 years old, they accuse me of butting in and trying to "make up time" through her. I think somewhat that may be true, but I also believe that's what most grand parents do anyway. I had been taking care of her so that she wouldn't have to be put into daycare, to give my mother a break, and to keep her mother from having to pay daycare prices. I assume they are very high these days. I also took care of her because my son won't and hasn't really shown any initiative that he wants to. All he does is talk about it to my mother and he complains. These things that have been said to me have really been weighing on my mind the past few days and I think I am going to step back and let he and his wife step up to the plate. My son hates me, and says things will never be right between he and I until I accept his wife. I will not do that. I will not do that because I would have tobow down to her and allow her to disrespect me just to have a "cool" relationship with my son. I have tried that before, treated her with respect but it didn't work out. He still treated me like dirt! I am going to let him go...I love him and he or she can't take that away from me...Thanks again for listening...

[luise.volta]

Welcome! My take: You are evidencing self respect. You have all of your life. Our adult children have their own issues and sometimes we are handy when it comes to blame. Good for you for knowing that you did your best and that you always will.

I made a couple of minor changes in your post. Please read our Forum Agreement to make sure it's a fit. We ask that of everyone. It is on the Home Page under Open Me First. Sending love...

[JennG]

gotcha!  ....and thanks!!

[Pooh]

Welcome Jenn and you are on the right path.  You did your best raising him, now it's on him.